LESSONS LEARNT (By Zach Salar)

How did I go from Free-Alcohol to Alcohol-Free? Anyway, onto my 4^th weekend and here’s a few lessons learnt over the past few weeks:

• On the first weekend, I highly recommend locking yourself in and as far away as possible from the drinking spots.
• Don’t make the mistake I made and tell people that you’ve quit drinking for the next 3 months; everyone will make it their personal mission to get you drunk by any means possible.
• Get your own water…
• Replacing drinks with water can be a great solution but be prepared for a lot of bathroom trips… A LOT of bathroom trips
• Don’t go out as early as you normally do. If your set starts at 2am, don’t head out at 11 because those 3 hours will be the slowest 3 hours of your life. It’s not because you’re not having fun, but when you’re drunk, you seem to wander off and lose track of time more often.
• Be warned that some acquaintances that you thought were the funniest people to be around aren’t so funny when you’re sober.
• Some girls wear a lot of make up (and really can’t walk in those shoes)
• The food that you normally eat at 5am isn’t as delicious as you thought it was. In fact, it’s quite nasty!
• You don’t seem to make those stupid drunk decisions when you’re sober. If you still do, you can’t blame the stupid decision on the drink anymore… damn!

LEARNING TO DETACH – Jiveny Blair-West

I’ve been a bit apprehensive about posting these thoughts. But at the end of a day, this is my truth and I hope that in offering an alternative perspective some may find solace in their own being…forgive me if you feel this is a little too ‘deep’ for mainstream media.

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In hindsight, I’ve found that my experiences with HSM have been somewhat atypical to my own expectations. I see now how I aproached HSM from a very introspective, spiritual perspective and sometimes found myself alienated from my peers in the process.

Looking back, I connected those three months of sobriety with change, personal growth, health, purity/clarity of mind and being pro-active. While these are all beautiful things to adopt in the name of evolution, as I neared the finish line I became anxious about going back to drinking and confused with how it would fit in with my new found values.

Eventually this led to an influx of wild emotions and interesting thought streams that in the beginning I welcomed; but in the end found to be somewhat overwhelming and draining at times.

You see, I found that when I did drink again I was disappointed. Alcohol had lost it’s magic. I was frustrated and confused, chasing the euphoria of letting go that I once so adored. Now I am grieving for my lost friend; alcohol, but as I am learning, death can also be a very beautiful thing.

I’ve recently started reading The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and because life works in such a way, when I opened my book today to open my mind these words comforted me in my journey:

“I remember how much I enjoyed smoking and drinking. Then this Yoga business came in and somehow I don’t have those joys anymore.”

The book goes on to explain that such thoughts are the consequence of ‘Samskaras’ – mental impressions or nostalgic fond memories that one must learn to accept, but not buy into. Not because these things are “bad”, but because continuing to buy into such beliefs is only going to frustrate.

I like the analogy of a child who sets aside a toy they are no longer interested in it– not because the toy is ‘bad’ – but simply because as they grow older, they move on to new interests, new pleasures and new truths.

While I sometimes miss going out and getting wasted just for the hell of it; now and again even envying my peers who continue to enjoy it so, I do feel that I am ready to move on.

I enjoy my life without alcohol (though I am reluctant to identify myself as a ‘non-drinker’ ) and feel confident in socialising without drinking. But although I have come to this conclusion, living in our culture I am led to question myself – am I really over alcohol? Really!? And so I try it again only to be disappointed, or I say to myself and others ‘one day I’ll get back into drinking’. After all, I am only 19 so at times it does feel a bit of an overwhelming premature conclusion to make. But on the other hand, I do feel that I can be happy without it…

In saying this, I also recognise that life is all about creating and expressing who you would ultimately like to be. It’s a process of evolution, movement, learning and personal growth. In acknowledgment of this, I open myself to the possibilities of enjoying alcohol again – I even welcome such a relationship. But I do not wish to force it by pressuring myself into drinking just for the sake of drinking.

I think back to a special person I met early on in the year who didn’t really drink at all but had a talent for living life to the fullest. I’m thankful to have such a reference point and I hope that if others come to the same, genuine conclusion HSM will allow them to be able to accept their choice more easily.

Birthday Hurdle (By Mariko)

I spent my 25th birthday sober.

Yes.

Sober.

If the first sentence sounded inexplicably morose in your head, (not dissimilar to a doctor giving a patient bad news), we could be related.

If the words that followed were steeped in melancholy, well! Pull up a chair and sit by me. We’ll drown our sorrows in a couple of G + T’s. Hold the G.

When it comes to words, there is nothing as cruel as the word lisp, or more sobering as the word sober.

Except for me.

Sufficiently depressed? This should just about bring you into my headspace the night before my 25th. It was the first point in my HSM where I felt sorry for myself.

It’s not that I had a bad day. Quite the opposite. The night before, there was an amazing dinner and even more amazing cake (see below). I had a good friend by my side and a boyfriend that flew down from Brisbane. There was a view of Melbourne from the inside of a beautiful bar and inside that bar? One girl and her birthday, one bottle of untouched ‘free-but-otherwise-very-expensive’ French champagne, a small shit-storm and a huge pity party.

Rainbow laser eye beams = Win.

I could literally see myself sitting on the bar stool at one point. Arms crossed, legs crossed, my face channeling the spirits of Oscar the Grouch and the Grinch who stole Christmas, brain working overtime on conjuring huge mental tantrum. I admit I thought about it, that night. Having a sneaky half-glass of wine, which, according to my calculations, isn’t even one standard drink, and is therefore exactly the same to drinking nothing at all.

I had to remind myself of a few things:
1) I signed up for HSM for a few reasons listed here and I was going through with it sans the imaginary half-drink and the accompanying excuses.
2) I deliberately ensured my HSM would run over the course of my birthday. Obviously you can pick your own start date, but I wanted to ensure there was a recognisable hurdle, some mother of a social occasion, where I would mourn alcohol’s absence.

If grieving is an important part of accepting and overcoming loss, then between 11.30-11.50, I grieved. By midnight, I was 25, over the loss, and starting a new year and chapter in my life. As we strolled out at 1am to head home, I felt quietly proud 25 was starting with some kind of accomplishment, and in awe at how one seemingly small decision was having a larger impact on my life. The wheels keep on turning.

The day of my birth there was breakfast, and Tim Burton, an afternoon strolling around Fitzroy, fake wine at dinner and a revisit to s2 of True blood, and then? It was all over. No crazy stories, no surprise bumps and grazes, no make up to wash off in the morning, and surprisingly, not a care in the world.

Authentic me at home image, TB shirt included **Wine not authentic.

Just another Sunday morning.

SECOND TIME ROUND… (by Christopher Beavon)

Hello all.

One month in and life has finally given me a spare moment to make my first post. You may know me as Mariko’s ball and chain or the Clyde to her Bonnie, but you may to refer to me as Esquire Beavon.

Abstinence from intoxication is nothing new for me. At the age of eighteen I decided to stop being a ‘Beavon’ and gave up all intoxicants and walked the line. For three years I didn’t drink, the two years that followed that I only drank maybe once every couple of months and only in the last year has binge drinking become a habit.

So this brief revisit to abstinence is more of a short break and in support of my Bonnie-lass (yes, you may make a whipping action with association sound effect). I am interested to see if I go through all the stages that come with being a sober socialite; the questions, the awkwardness, the stamina to stay out, reassuring the drinking/drunk friends that become insecure because your not.

So far so good. I thought this time might be a little harder as I enjoy having that one drink after a hard day, a long week or particularly hard exam block (maybe more than one in the later case). The difference this time round is the fact that I am a strong believer in moderation; I don’t believe abstinence is best (neither is full blown indulgence). Being able to decide to not drink, to have one or two, or to go get legless all make up the wonder of life. Moderation is good, but being able to experience the extremes makes life interesting.

So here’s to getting to know me second time round.

Esquire Beavon

LOVE: WOULD YOU SELL IT BY THE GRAM? (by Ebony Frost)

Down with love? Really?

It’s true. We love love. If love were running for PM, there’d be no need for a televised debate.

Love can cook? Move over Adam and Callum.

And if love had a competitive streak, then hello Australian Idol, we have a winner.

Love is perhaps the single most unifying force on the planet. It transcends all languages, crosses all religions*, can be gone in a week or wait a lifetime to arrive.

It sees no skin colour, has no age barrier and can survive unimaginable odds.

So we agree. Love is the unbeatable hand, the hole in one, the checkmate (no condom pun intended… okay maybe just a little bit).

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“I can still have fun sober”(By Amy Plant)

As I drive through the suburbs of Melbourne while I listen to Arcade Fire’s new album The Suburbs (fitting hey?!) I admire what a pleasant afternoon it is. The sun is shining and the smell of flowers is in the air. I have my window down and let the music pump out and onto the streets I drive. I am feeling positive, I am feeling happy. Today is when I start my three month HSM stint. Arcade Fire is the opening soundtrack to this new chapter in my life.

Over the past few days I have been tossing up whether to undertake the challenge of not drinking for three months. I did have grand ideas of doing the challenge of 6 – 12 months, but hey I should not bite off more than I can chew.

So here I go three months of saying no to Alcohol.

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Dear Dad Part 2 (by Alex Jones)

The last couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs to say the least, and this entry has changed many times over  while I try and come to terms with everything. I have found that a lot of things are starting to become a lot clearer and I think I now have a better perspective of what the purpose of this blog is for me.

As I touched on in my previous post, I don’t want to let life pass me by without noticing. I know for me this can easily happen if I get caught in a rut of going out every weekend, then working for the rest of the week just to pay the bills and to cover the weekend habit. This challenge has been a huge step forward in ensuring that I do get the most out of every day and keep making steps towards achieving my dreams.

I will complete my 3 month HSM to finish what I started, but I think I have already achieved what I needed to. I will return to drinking to enjoy the sweet taste of that beautiful Pepperjack beer, but it will be with a totally different attitude.

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DO I HAVE A PROBLEM? (by Jason Rohloff)

Since I started my HSM 3 1/2 months ago a lot of people have asked me why I am doing it.  When they find out I am doing it for 12 months something seems to click inside their heads “woops, this guy must be an alcoholic, better not say anything more” and they stop asking questions.  Some of my friends will be bold enough to come right out with it and ask me if I have a drinking problem, I really appreciate them being upfront with me and I happily discuss with them in great detail my reasons for doing HSM.

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Damn You Dry July (P.S. I Love You)

You’re stealing my thunder Dry July – this was meant to be all about MY teetotaling journey.  And my new buddy, HSM.  However, you are everywhere.  Flaunting good causes and raising cash, getting everyone on the wagon.  Didn’t you know I was starting this in July?  What was wrong with ‘Remember September’?

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I’ve just passed the 1 month milestone and got to say it feels good.  The clarity of mind you get about an alternative (not getting pissed) is immense.  Disappointingly, it appears I am succeeding on the no alcohol front, but I have found that everything else just doesn’t fall into place as a result.  There is much more work for me to do before I finish my HSM.  More on that later.

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JUST BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE (by Chris Raine)

Of the few friends I have let see me at my lowest point, Eddie Harran is one of them. Eddie  is this half-asian, super-wired man of mystery that froths excessively on just about anything with a website attached to it. He is also one of my best friends.

Eddie and I were sitting in my room around this time last year and I was in a really tough situation. Those situations in life where you have to make a decision that one way you are going to let yourself down, the other way, you will let others down. The situation was that I liked what I was doing at the advertising agency, but I felt as though I had a higher calling to pursue a new, unexpected dream – building Hello Sunday Morning.

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