Still stuck in bed sick and still thinking…………latest thoughts are about confidence. Confidence is a belief in oneself and ones abilities.

I have just read about a million quotes on confidence a lot of which talk about facing your fears. But I found one which I like the most.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson

If you are not religious ignore the God bits, it still works.

I am scared of heights, like petrified, the day I went up into St Paul’s cathedral and found out I could not go back down the stairs and had to walk out on that one metre ledge albeit three metres to the next door to get down was awful, the closest I have ever come to having a panic attack. So I have done some reading. What I have is a physical response to height. Because I have problems with my middle ear and sinus on a regular basis, I have to rely on visual cues only when dealing with heights and that just does not work apparently, which is why I get dizzy and panic. Hell I am in bed right now with a middle ear problem and I get dizzy just getting up out of bed!  Forget about my fear of heights I have a bigger picture now.

No I think Marianne Williamson is right, we fear how truly great we can become. We are all meant to shine, in our own way. Australia has this tall poppy syndrome to go with its drinking culture; in fact maybe it is a direct result of our drinking culture. Why do we look at people who are brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous and want them to fail?  Because we all play small to stop others feeling insecure!  Do we as a nation binge drink so we don’t have to deal with the fact we could all be living far more happy and productive lives if we put a bit of effort in?  

I was thinking about when my light shines brightest. Without a doubt it is at work. I am a good teacher. I know it, people tell me I am. My job is hard; it can be really stressful, some days are more successful than others. But I love it, when I think of a way to help a child who is struggling and it is successful it is the best feeling in the world. Lights shine all over the place! The other time I feel it is when I help others, you gain so much from helping people, giving your time and energy to others is so rewarding. In the last few weeks since I stopped drinking I have been able to do this more.

When do other people feel most confident?