One of the things that is interesting about doing a HSM is that a lot of people have a lot of opinions about the best way to manage your drinking life. Or really, the best way to manage my drinking life.
One of the most common bits of advice is that if I want to learn to drink less in the long term, I shouldn’t be abstaining, I should be learning to drink in moderation. Which is actually ok advice, except that it’s not what I’ve chosen to do.
There is a reason why I chose to abstain from alcohol for a year. Quite a few actually. But this is the pertinent point:
When I’m not drinking at all, I think about booze way less than when I’m trying to drink moderately. Taking it out of the equation altogether makes it less of an issue. This is why I committed to staying dry for a whole year.
Over the past two months I’ve come to realise that abstaining, not attempting moderation, was definitely the right decision for me.
One of the big things about staying sober for a year is that it has given me the time, space and clarity to really think in detail at how alcohol impacts on my life, in both positive and negative ways.
Taking a big chunk of time off has given me the skills to know I can have a great, productive time without drinking. I'm also thinking about how I might want to drink when I finish my HSM. But what I’m getting most out of my period of sobriety are lots of awesome ‘lightbulb’ moments about how and why I drink, that I don't think I would get if I was attempting to drink in moderation. Space is needed for quality reflections, I think... more on my reflections soon.
14/07/11
I couldn’t agree more, also I think a big break is needed before attempting moderation in order to break old habits.
14/07/11
Great piece. After many failed attempts to moderate, I have found abstinence works best for me. Nearly two years sober and I would not trade it for anything. I love my life. Moderation works for many people, but for problem drinkers, it can be very difficult. Abstinence is simple, there’s only one choice to make at any given moment and I’m always sober and clear-headed when I make it.
15/07/11
“Moderation works for many people, but for problem drinkers, it can be very difficult. Abstinence is simple, there’s only one choice to make at any given moment and I’m always sober and clear-headed when I make it.” – Andrew, this resonates so much with me. Thank you.
14/07/11
Well put Lisa. Those who have an inner cut off switch around alcohol find moderation easy but it’s obvious not everyone can. Some people can stop at 1 TimTan and others eat the whole pack. If you can’t stop the best route is to not start. Good on you.
15/07/11
Thanks Gill! Your support has meant a lot to me. So true about the stopping mechanism.
14/07/11
I think we each need more than a short period off from alcohol to learn what it does and doesn’t do for us and that amount of time will vary amongst each individual. What is important is that, unless you plan on abstaining forever, you do have a plan for when you start back up otherwise you may eventually slip into old habits again.
In my two weeks of clarity on the program, I’ve stumbled across what I think is an excellent guide to getting back on the moderation track and it is complementary to doing something like HSM. Here’s a link to the guide that hopefully you, and others may find useful: http://www.moderation.org/library/Guide%20to%20Moderation%20Management%20Steps%20of%20Change.pdf
15/07/11
Great link Gee, thanks!
05/09/11
Friends of mine keep making this point too! Just have a few, control yourself yadda yadda. The problem is I know I can’t and Ive proven that time and time again.
Theres a running joke among my friends “you sticking to your 4 drink limit tonight rach?” which means they know Ill probably have 15 and wake up at a strangers house with some crazy story.
So they know this yet they still encourage it!
People don’t like to drink alone that is for sure!