Bloody hell it has been a long time since I posted on here.
What has happened in the last month?
Well I've actually been having quite a nice time having an occasional drink and re-training my brain to try not to operate in absolutes.
That said, I'm not perfect and there have been a couple of really baaaad nights. However, I feel like I have learned from them.
Currently also dealing with the stress of numerous essays.
And realising that I may, in actual fact, be human. Not a super-hero and cannot burn the candle at both ends, and in the middle.
I've started running again, it's amazing what exercise will do for you in the mornings. And doing yoga after work with a friend. Also doing a little bit of cycling here and there.
All-in-all things are looking up. I'm proud to say that the 3 months I took completely off drinking have changed my life for the better.
Still have a lot of learning to do though, and I think it was naive to think that as soon as HSM 'finished' that I would have changed and learned how to drink in moderation.
Not so.
Trying really hard not to judge myself for having trouble moderating my alcohol intake (swinging dramatically from not at all to loads).
Anyone got any pointers? It's a bit of an uphill battle between you and I.
Also, I've read back on a few of my posts from the midst of my HSM and I am ashamed of how I do not feel that eloquent anymore. Maybe it's because Uni has been taking it out of me, and working is stressful, but it's not good.
I have research to do tonight for an essay due on Monday, and I will start writing tomorrow. I also get to Skype one of my closest friends this evening.
This week I will make my priority to do things that make me feel intelligent (because this is where I feel I get most of my confidence), invest in myself without alcohol involved. There is nothing wrong with it. Maybe it's time to write some affirmations and stick them on my wall.
12/09/11
Everyone is different. It’s what you do that defines a persons character. It starts at with you and ultimately ends with you.
thats what she said
12/09/11
woops meant to write that’s all she wrote
13/09/11
It’s definitely an uphill battle! I’ve found myself drunk a number of times since finishing HSM. What is important is that you are always evaluating your actions… HSM isn’t designed to stop drinking for the rest of your life, its designed to make you think about it more… and because you are… it’s worked. Just be confident in your decisions and make sure that whatever you’re choosing is making you happy.
13/09/11
Before I started HSM I was drinking moderately for about 2-3 months. I managed never to get completely wasted, sometimes I set myself a maximum of 2 drinks if I was out for a little while, or three drinks if I was out for hours on end, drinking something else like coke or soda water in between. BUT I did not always regulate it myself. My Ex and I both did. Because my drinking affected us both and our relationship quite significantly he would just keep an eye on how much I was drinking and tell me when I had reached my limit if I had not realised it myself. This was not in a controlling way it was something we had both agreed for him to do for me. I always stopped either myself or if he said something. But I could not control it myself all the time. I don’t think you can.
13/09/11
Thanks guys, it’s weird contemplating whether I can manage at 20 years old. I’m still young, I’m meant to make mistakes. I think you’re right Ben I’m definitely thinking more.
I think I’ll start posting again, it’s always a cathartic experience.
And it’s wonderful to have the input of others going through the same thing.
13/09/11
thanks for your post as i was wondering how people respond post HSM. im just over hump day so am trying to ponder the future as i think that i will have to be on my guard or even sigh on again