Where am I now?

So it’s been just longer than 3 months and I ask myself the question what am
I getting out of my HSM experience right now? I’m really struggling with this concept.

I am somebody who was historically a heavy drinker but haven’t for more than 12 months. Throughout the biggest social season of the year there were some definate challenges and I learnt alot about myself and others drinking “habits”. The 2 greatest learnings for me has been my confidence when out in social situations and gaining connection and social interaction with people who have had a shandy or two. HSM is an awesome vehicle for these things!

I am on my own journey of personal growth and HSM is just one avenue that I am walking down. I’m ever qualifying the things i do, have, feel, believe and limit myself to.

The real thing that I have struggled with is no choice to have a drink. Because I don’t drink out of habit, and always ask myself whether I really want a drink or I’m just doing it ‘because I can’. I really miss the taste of a nice cold import beer on a saturday afternoon or an aged shiraz when sharing the eating experience with family or good friends. It’s not a crutch, but an experience I choose to have that doesn’t take from me.

My big questions are –

1. Does it serve me to continue my HSM for another 3 months?
2. What will I learn in the next 3 months without alcohol?
3. What are some ways for me to maximise my HSM experience if I decide to continue?

I would really appreciate some feedback and some ideas from my fellow HSMers and readers!

I have spent a lot of my life feeling obligated to be a certain person. Or feeling expectation from influential people in my life. My perception of their expectation that I create, even if it doesn’t exist. And I know what your thinking… Why the hell would you do that?

We as people are shaped by the experiences in our lives. Be it good or bad. And we learn in these experiences by the emotion that we feel. And that emotion can create a behaviour that we use to choose to feel or avoid that emotion throughout our lives. And this happens mostly without our concious knowledge.

As a young boy I experienced the feeling of obligation and expectation and created a behaviour in my life that has stayed with me until recently. It took me months to understand how this shows up in my life and how it affects my choices for my life. I can now say that im making choices for myself with the freedom to do whatever I choose, without feelings of guilt, obligation or expectation. Its a freedom that ive never felt before.

I want to use this forum to talk about some of the huge choices that im making over the next few months! Pretty damn exciting. This is a massive journey for me and im so humble to be where I am.

To leave you with some wisdom that I collected from a book given to me to read by good friend Simon Lawry, at the most opportune time.

This is your life, your one & only life. You determine whats possible. Make choices, ask questions, take steps – today is the day.

Either you are living out someone elses dream for you, or you are setting your own course. Dont let people tell you who you are.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you just like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight – but never stop fighting.

Anonymous.

Stay classy.

B.

This is my first weekly blog from here until the end of my 6 month HSM. I gotta say, that blogging does not come naturally to me. So here we go…

I have had some amazing experiences since my HSM journey began. The truth for me is that i have not drank excessively for 12 months on Australia Day. That was the day i decided to do things differently.

Over christmas and new year, the alcohol consumption increased significantly around me. Family, friends and work colleagues all indulged. But all do so in many different ways. The social dynamic around each situation is different, with things such as peer pressure, love and friendship tied up with the drinking experience. For me i just loved watching it all unfold. And how they dealt with my choice to go without. Some supportive, some disgusted, some wishing they had the balls to do the same thing. But i take my hat off to each of my fellow HSM comrades as it is the want for change that gets us to where we are and that takes some balls.

Over the past week, my journey has been full on. And i love it! Im letting go of expectations, obligations and everything that i thought was my reality and im opening my eyes to the possibilities of the world. Its an amazing sense of freedom that i dont think i have ever experienced before. I was given an opportunity just last night to see how much i have grown in 12 months when i spoke with some old friends and i would like to acknowledge myself for that.

I will be sharing my lessons and learnings from here on in with a brief update every week.

B signing off.