1. I can do all alcohol friendly activities without drinking and feel entirely comfortable about it
2. I understand my relationships with alcohol; the harmful and the positive and appreciate these relationships
3. I prefer to be in control and a sharp state of mind
4. Drinking can be bloody expensive!

The key moment when I felt it was time and where HSM did not serve me any more was two Sundays ago when I was at a family dinner. My dad opened a bottle of ten year old wine and offered me a glass. It seemed like half an hour before I responded because my head was madly balancing the pros and the cons and deciding whether or not to accept his offer. I declined. That was the moment where I knew to call it a day.

I had my first drink last Thursday. The occasion – celebrating with my brother Simon. The drink – scotch, neat. The sensation – crazy. My taste buds went wild.

Moving on I will still be contributing to this blog through the eyes of a post-HSMer and will tracking my progress of reintegration. I feel humbled to be part of this movement and have huge respect for Chris and the team. I am open to answer any questions you may have so please comment below if you do!

Although I am not drinking any alcohol; I am working 70 hours a week, I am not exercising, and I am eating really unhealthy food. I am a little confused as to why I am making these lifestyle choices surrounding health and fitness without acknowledging the impact it has on me. I no longer think my original HSM “yes” is driving my decisions around alcohol. I still continue to not drink and I don’t really care if I do or not.

Looking at it from a meta level I see alcohol as only one piece of this puzzle I call life. The more I focus on the decision making process around saying “no” to alcohol the more I see alcohol as a substance which changes my behavioural state, good as well as bad, and results in undesirable actions. This part of the puzzle is clear to me and HSM has allowed this. The rest of the puzzle though, not so much.

I feel a little lost and out of balance in this moment.

I have committed to HSM for 12 months but I don’t know if I want to continue after 3. Can fellow HSM’ers offer me some insight/feedback? Have you been through what I am currently experiencing?

I know how alcohol has helped me lose inhibitions and generally lose control over my mind and self consciousness. This has seen me do crazy stupid things in the past, both regrettable and not. However during my Hello Sunday Morning challenge I could not overcome my personal hurdles to sing in front of friends and strangers at a bar. I know for fact that if I had a few in me I would definitely be out there with belting out a few rock ballads and playing air guitar with the best of them but I just didn’t have the balls to do it.

There was plenty opportunity for me to sing a few warm up songs as we started early in the night before it reached capacity. By the time I requested my first song it was nearing midnight and by the time it was my turn it would of been 2am. I left at 1:30. I used the “having to work at 8am” excuse and went home. I used this as a self sabotaging strategy used to prevent me from having to perform because I was scared shitless about singing!

The lesson I’ve learned from this experience has been massive. Where does this also show up in my life? The answer lies in one of the reasons I am taking the Hello Sunday Morning challenge which is having the courage ask out women I like without the help of alcohol. Now where is that mic…

I have met a lot of awesome, fascinating, and inspiring people in my short time here. The biggest challenge I have faced and continue to face is the experience of meeting new people, declining their drink offers with a polite “no thank you” and then informing them why I am not drinking. Responses have varied from “what the fuck?” to “why?” to “do you have a drinking problem?” From there I go on to share what Hello Sunday Morning is all about and why I’m doing it. This explaining gets somewhat repetitive and annoys me to an extent. I’ve realised that I cannot control their reaction to my decisions and the only thing I can control (and will ever be able to control) is my response to their reactions whether positive or negative. The negative responses have been hard to digest and has really helped me develop resolve and to stick to my ‘yes’ for the challenge.

On my ‘yes’ for Hello Sunday Morning, It has been interesting to identify my relationship with alcohol. If I weren’t doing the challenge, the sheer fact of the number of social occasions, work situations, and things to do in New York, I would have been having drinks every day. I felt all these daily moments would of easily warranted a drink. Could it be I usually look for any reason to have a drink or is alcohol the accepted norm in any social situation? I think in my case, it’s my personal acceptance of alcohol in my lifestyle as the norm.

It’s something I will ponder further.

J

My first experiences with alcohol involved having a little sip of my parents’ drink at the dinner table when I was an early teenager. I am thankful that I was trusted and did not need to sneak alcohol out of their liquor cabinet, as I have heard from the tales of many others.

Fast-forward twelve years and now into my 26^th year, whatever has happened in that space, I must admit my drinking habits had become consistently heavy during the last ten years.

How does alcohol impact my life at the moment? Let’s answer these with what I want to get out of the Hello Sunday Morning challenge, or my ‘YES’.

1) Health and fitness is a big part of who I am. I find I have no motivation to get up early or even being able to stomach a physical workout after a night on the booze. This lack of energy and exercise compounds and I end up spiralling down and not doing anything for a couple weeks. The ‘YES’ for me here is to develop consistency and real enjoyment through my fitness.

2) I enjoy the taste of alcohol. I love a cold beer on a hot summer afternoon. I love a glass of wine with dinner. I love an old single malt scotch. However I believe there are many underlying reasons why I binge on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. I know I’ve gotten drunk when I’ve been celebrating, depressed, been in a break-up, happy, pissed off, stressed, and even for no reason at all. The ‘YES’ for me here is to improve my understanding of my relationship with alcohol and the core reasons to why I drink.

3) I use alcohol as a social lubricant and confidence booster when trying to communicate with women in a social setting. As the night becomes blurred, I have no idea what conversations I have had and I hate not having that control. The ‘YES’ for me here is to be comfortable within my authentic self and to connect with women in any social situation.

There, I have laid it on the line. I have committed to the next 12 months saying ‘NO’ to alcohol but ‘YES’ to so much more!

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Stay tuned.

Jonathan

UPDATE: I arrived safely in NYC and it’s been fun adapting to jet lag and getting into the swing of things.. PS NEW YORK ROCKS!