Wow, helloooo Hello Sunday Morning!

This evening I thought I’d check in here and found myself reading over my old posts. Things have really changed since way back then

I remember when I was fresh off the back of my 3 month HSM. At that stage I don’t really think the insights learnt during this time were overly obvious to me. Looking back over the last six months really demonstrates the things this time taught me. And yes, I do drink now and I still thoroughly enjoy the experience! The difference today is knowing my limits. I also have a greater respect for alcohol and also myself.

Hello Sunday Morning is about the individual. Hello Sunday Morning was for me. At the time I remember being torn between viewing my blogs as narcissistic and being able to see the benefit of leading by example.

2010 has been an epic, epic year for me. Most of all I have learnt to be a better me. I credit a little of this to HSM, through this process I learnt to embrace vulnerable honesty and that this honesty applies to everyone. We are all the same. What a lovely, but truthful thought.

So people, if you are currently HSM-ing, you have my respect and enjoy the ride. Remember that it is yours and yours alone. Own it. If you’re thinking about doing an HSM, think hard and make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. It’s about you and you’ll get the most out of it if you’re committed and ready to explore yourself.

Those who know me will know the big changes that have happened over the last 6 months. Huge changes. Today, for the first time in a long time, I made a commitment to myself to let go and let life flow. It reminded me of the optimistic commitments I made during HSM, so what a fitting place to declare some optimism once again!

I don’t believe in coincidence.

Just one of those late night SBS-documentary-epiphany moments I thought was worth sharing. We will probably never completely comprehend how lucky we are. There is so much more that we can achieve, and so much more to do. Every second doing nothing is a waste of time and we all know that we can never get it back. Kinda scary really.

This thing has really thrown me around a bit.

It has been 3 weeks now, since I slipped back into being able to drink again. I have experienced the good and bad. Mostly, the bad experiences have been far more significant than the good.

When I over-drank (I like this term better than binge) things got ugly. I think that I am just better when I don’t drink too much. I would love to be able to share some awesomely deep and intense insights about life and how I have drastically changed as a person, but my realisation is quite simple.

I have fun and enjoy myself when I don’t drink more than 1-2 drinks in one sitting (or dancing!).

I used to be the last one standing, the one who always took things further and who never wanted to go to bed. A night can only last so many hours. What you do during this night can last a lot longer!!!

That is not me anymore and this is a very good thing.

I went out for dinner with two very special people the other night. I had one glass of wine. We finished dinner early and I got home early. We had a beautiful meal. There was an option to get a bottle to share, but we didn’t. This was one of nicest evenings I have had recently.

Feeling pretty good right now.

Good bye messed up drunken world – Hello Sunday Morning!

Being able to drink again simply marks the next phase in this journey.

When I went out last Friday night I drank quite a lot for me, it was all sweet French Martinis and a little trashy sparkling wine. I didn’t get drunk and I had a really great night out. I kept drinking because I expected to feel something more, I was expecting myself to get drunk and I didnt. I got tired and I got over it. So I went home.

I then did the unthinkable. I accidentally got drunk the other day when I really shouldn’t have and I totally beat myself up over it. I felt extremely stupid and guilty for getting drunk.

Besides the fact that I took things a little too far, after chatting with a few people about this, we came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t feel guilty about getting a little loose. I didn’t drink for any particular reason, I just drank too much and by the time I noticed myself feeling tipsy it was too late.

In the spirit of HSM I am airing my dirty laundry.

I am really sorry.

This post marks the next phase: learning how to drink again.

OR

Deciding not to drink at all.

I am not sure how things will pan out, but I know that I don’t like doing stupid things. I don’t do stupid things. This is not me and definitely not something I stand for.

My next moves are for me and only I can work these out. Got to keep my good side on the cover, and that may be something only I can fully interpret. I will try to share the journey as HSM has really demonstrated the power of influence, thus my dirty laundry may help others with theirs.

I just got to keep at it. Suck it up Aisha Glen!

I am also super grateful for all of the kind, lovely and genuinely caring people that I have around me.

Love Love Love

Extremely happy with how this whole process has panned out. I have experienced something I urge all people to try.

Three months is not really a long time to go without alcohol. It is not hard but it sure is effective and affective!

I have learnt some significant things whilst honouring my commitment to sobriety:

1. I can have an awesome night out with friends without drinking. It is the company and my own attitude that make a great night out, not alcohol.

2. My body and mind function better when I don’t drink alcohol. I feel great, I have tonnes of energy and my body seems prefer not having to recover regularly.

3. I appreciate and enjoy drinking. I miss drinking. I don’t mean that I miss getting drunk, the complete opposite actually.

The thing that resonates with me is that if I had not met Chris Raine and become involved with HSM, my life would be drastically different.

I would not have consciously made an effort to step back and analyse my own behaviour. I, like most other people I have had times when I have done this as a result of some other trigger, but never as a result of deciding to go without something that I thought of as a fairly standard part of my social life.

In many cultures there is some kind of ceremony or tradition to acknowledge the step into adulthood. Something to act as a turning point in a young person’s life. Something that clearly outlines what is expected of them and when it is expected. This also justifies a shift in behaviour and prompts them to begin to behave in an adult way.

We don’t have anything like this in our culture. We have an 18^th birthday to celebrate being old enough to drink and to vote. Apparently we celebrate our 21^st birthdays as a coming of age ceremony of sorts, but I think we would all agree that these days it is more about getting together with friends and family to drink and get showered with special gifts.

This is where I feel Hello Sunday Morning fits in. I think that every young person should take part in HSM as a coming of age celebration. Every young person around Australia, and maybe even throughout other western countries could commit just three months of their lives to stepping back and re-evaluating their  own behaviour.

If we all knew a little more about ourselves and had a little more insight, if we all had our priorities straight and were true to ourselves then there would no longer be the need to regularly drink copious amounts of alcohol.

Many other cultures around the word have morals and traditions that inadvertently prevent people from behaving as recklessly as we do. Sometimes I am a little embarrassed by our carelessness. We live in one of the luckiest countries in the world, I feel we need to acknowledge and appreciate this more by behaving in a way that is respectful to others and to ourselves.

Tomorrow I am going out with friends and I plan to have a few drinks.  I now know that I won’t get paralytic and I won’t be hung over. I won’t drink for the sake of getting drunk, rather I plan to drink slowly and enjoy my drinks. When I start to feel that I am loosing self control, instead of donning my ‘who cares, you only live once, down a few more and make a night of it’ cap, I will just stop and enjoy the evening for what it is.

No different really.

I am proud to say my silly season resulted in no hangovers and not too many embarrassing moments. I have learnt a lot and now believe that when I do start to drink again I will view drinking in a completely different light.

I miss many things. I miss Frangelico, lime and ginger-ale. I miss a cold Heineken whilst watching the tennis. I missed out on the almost full bottle of Veuve that a VIP guest left behind at work. I miss being able to make my own choice. I am not struggling with this challenge but I do feel that I have experienced its purpose and I am ready to go ahead in leaps and bounds, armed with the solid bank of life lessons HSM has provided me with.

That being said I have a full fridge of alcohol that I have not yet been tempted by. Most of it still has gift cards attached. It is going to take me a long time to get through it after February.

February 19^th. The day I start to drink again. The day that, three months prior, my best friend left for London. The day that another close friend celebrates leaving for London. I don’t know how to feel or what to expect on this day. I don’t plan on getting plastered, but I do plan on sipping on a few Frangelicos.

I think HSM is something all young people should try. Three months is easy. It is not about not drinking, it is about getting some damn perspective. To have a look at yourself, look at what you are doing and how you are spending your valuable time and money. The time is now, it is always now. Why is it that it is okay for us to prioritise riding ourselves off, day after day, weekend after weekend? Whatever you believe in, however you view the world, surely there is a greater purpose for all of us, something meaningful that we can be devoting our time and money towards.

It is a wake up call. A time for reflection. We don’t allow ourselves enough time to reflect. Our culture and lifestyles do not prioritise reflection.

I know that I will go back to drinking alcohol but that it will be different. I am also thinking about allocating a time each year where I don’t drink, a time for reflection.

Think about it.

Looks as though 2010 is going to be a massive year for me. I am jumping into my final year of studies which means this time next year I will be in the big bad world on my ownsome. Which leads me to the subject of this post.

Fear.

I have been thinking about this concept over the last month. Fear drives me to do things that I would not normally do.

Or

Would I normally do these things? Does the fear of not doing these things actually drive me to do them?

Then there is that ‘scares the hell out of me’ fear. We all know this one, for me this is epitomised by the Halloween horror movie series.  The close up of the teenage babysitter the moment she spots the slow moving silhouette of a man holding a blade approaching a seemingly perfect house in a cookie cutter street. He walks so slowly, yet no matter how loud she screams or how fast she runs through the house, he is always there, right behind her, blade in the air, death in his eyes. Scary stuff.

But it’s the same thing right? It is still fear and it still makes me do irrational things. I aim high out of a fear that I will never achieve all that I intended myself achieve. I check the locks on all the doors before I sleep out of fear that some haunting silhouette will try to enter my home whilst I’m asleep. I don’t do things and go places if it means that I will have to face something uncomfortable. Yet I put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable in order to overcome fear.

I am really quite confused. Fear confuses me.

Fear drives me and inhibits me at the same time.

Would love some input here as I am not really sure what to make of all of this.

I know that, once boiled down, the fundamental force that drove me to ever drink to excess was fear. I also know that fear lead me to decide to commit to three months without alcohol. Something I was initially quite scared of. I was scared of facing myself. The fear.

On a lighter, less unintentionally ‘intense’ note, I am off to see Lily Allen tomorrow night. Should be amazing. It is a licensed event but it will be all smiles and Red Bulls for me.

Stay tuned x0x0x0x

All week I had been contemplating sitting this one out. Excuses included nothing to wear, too tired, higher priority commitments and the fact that I needed a new pair of shoes. (Quite funny for those who are aware of my shoe collection)

On Monday one of my amazing friends surprised me with my early Christmas present, the hottest pair of super shiny, YSL inspired, black, pump stilettos – I was out of excuses.

I was a little nervous when I arrived which was only compounded by the fact that my feet were killing me in my shiny new shoes. Always prepared, I slipped on the back up pair I had in the car and made my way in. The room was themed with giant Oscars statues, a plush red carpet and photographers. Who said the hotel industry isn’t glamorous!

Everyone else was a little drunk when I arrived, so I hit the bar for Red Bulls. Now I am not saying that I was looking for a replacement here, but these babies kept up my energy levels well on into the night! And what a night it was. We danced, we sang, took plenty of evidence for Facebook and got right into the dessert buffet. I carved up the dance floor with my “Nut bush” rendition and managed to recite most of the words to “Stop” by the Spice girls. I even went back down to the car park and put on my stilettos.

 Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I had so much fun. Normally, if drinking I would get to a certain point in the evening where I would take things too far and do something stupid that I would regret the next day. This time all the photos from the night are clean and I had an amazing evening without embarrassing myself.

After the party we continued on at the downstairs bar and then headed over to the Casino. For a Monday night, the place was surprisingly busy.

I left around midnight. I got home, took a shower and then went to bed. No spinning room, no hugging the toilet bowl.

I had just as much fun, if not more than I would have if I had been drinking. I have to admit I was still somewhat of a sceptic. I thought that this whole Hello Sunday Morning deal would not really affect me too much, not me, I don’t drink that much so really I was mainly interested in supporting the cause. Last night proved to me that not only can I enjoy myself without alcohol, but I am better off without it!

I don’t mean to preach and I know I am still bouncing off the high of the successful evening (or maybe it’s just the Red Bulls kicking back in) but this morning as my awesome work buddies updated me on their killer hangovers I realised that I had discovered the ultimate hangover cure: don’t drink!

(Love you to pieces!!!!)

Life changes, people change, we change, the world changes.

Life is frustrating and brutal, and also brutally beautiful. Just when you think things are going well, things change and everything seems up in the air again. Just when things seem worse than ever before, something happens and life seems amazing and full of endless potential.

Do you ever get the feeling that you didn’t say what you wanted to say, or it didn’t come out the way you planned?  It sounded better in your head?  It felt better in your dreams? It seemed better when you planned it out, inch by inch, piece by piece?

I’m a planner, a dreamer, a thinker. I yearn for things to happen, quickly. I expect a lot and will not accept any less. These are my standards and this is a piece of the force that drives me.

I have had two kinds of reactions to my Hello Sunday Morning commitment. Those who smile then laugh on the inside as they connive plans to trip me up. These are the folk that think it is funny when they send me photos of themselves enjoying a big, juicy glass of red wine when I am trying to get to sleep. To those who play dirty – I play dirtier! Plus this thing would not be as fun if you guys didn’t keep me laughing :)

Then there are those who are full of support, who share my vision for a beautiful world of sunshine and rainbows, and young people who drink responsibly and fluffy bunny rabbits and butterflies. A world where the wide eyed, fly ridden faces of starving African babies are not needed to prompt us to take a stand against global poverty.  Your support means more to me than you will ever realise. Your support means that I am not alone, it means that there are more like minded people in the world and this means that we can be hopeful.  Is it so bad to dream? Are our ambitions unrealistic?

If you know someone who is doing something beyond the barriers of social norms or expectations, make sure you let them know they have your support. As Australian’s it is common to ridicule those who aim for more. If everyone always did the same thing or was fearful of doing something out of the ordinary then imagine what a boring world we would live in!

Life may be unpredictable and the weight of the world may confuse us at times. With the support of good friends we can run faster, work harder, be stronger and together we can achieve things far greater than if we were to attempt them alone.

 If we can’t change the world then who can?

On my off days, when I lack passion and motivation, I watch this little flash animation. Works every time!

I have decided to take up this challenge for a number of reasons. Firstly, I aim to whole heartedly support Chris and the rest of the HSM bloggers. It is people like you guys that form the foundation for real change in this world. Which brings me to my second point, I believe that we are able to influence change in others through our own actions. I have no apologies for sounding clichéd. I am the first to admit that we have societal issues as a direct result of alcohol abuse and I hope that HSM will, change the world, so to speak.

I grew up in the Riverina region of rural New South Wales, in a small town that definitely only had one Aisha.  Alcohol was an integral part of my teenage years. My girlfriends and I would scrape together enough money to buy a few bottles of passion pop, which at the time was a hefty $2.99. We would sneak into the school grounds on Friday and Saturday nights and get as drunk as possible. Going to great lengths to find ways to get drunk together, we often lied to our parents and befriended older guys who would buy us alcohol. At 16 I was fortunate enough to look older than my age, which made it easy to go out clubbing. By 18, my friends and I were regulars at all our local watering holes.

World travel has broadened my view in terms of life priorities, these days I work in the hotel industry and also study, which leaves little time for anything else. Yet, whilst searching for a profile picture for this post I was hard pressed to find one of me without a drink in my hand. I enjoy a knock off drink with my colleagues and find it easier to sleep with a comforting glass of red wine. I also seem to have the odd bender weekend which I always regret for the week after. The main difference these days is that I am legal and have more money to spend on my beverage of choice. I also don’t seem to pull up as well as I used to back in those precious Passion Pop days.

This festive season will be an opportunity for me to experience life without alcohol. Binge drinking is unhealthy, we know this, but we still do it. I would like to know why. At work drunk people make me angry, yet I still go out and end up a whole lot looser than I intended. I am interested in finding out why I do the things I do when I drink and why I can’t do these things sober, or if I would even want to do these things sober!

I am frustrated by the negative attention young people receive from local media. We don’t all get completely reckless when we drink. Creating hype around negativity surely cannot help the situation. The issues stem from a deeply engrained cultural acceptance. The change needs to come from within, and that is easier said than done.

It is relatively easy to talk the talk, my fear is that I will stumble trying to walk the walk. I hope by the end of this I will have some powerful insights. I also hope that I will have discovered how to enjoy the festive season alcohol free, without turning into a social recluse.

Wish me luck!

You can find me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/aishaglen or follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/aishaglen