I have decided to finish my Hello Sunday Morning a week early. My plans have changed quite a lot recently and I am now overseas while I come to the end of my journey. To mark the occasion I feel I needed some kind of significant event, a bookmark in my HSM and life timeline, a reward for hard work.
The perfect event for this bookmark was my cousin’s wedding in Belgium. I hopped on the plane on the 17th of August to travel with my family through France, Belgium and Great Britain.
This sign towards one of Paris' top tourist spots, looks like it was written on a piece of cardboard with a Sharpie. Very French.
Geuze, can only be brewed in a specific region of Belgium where the yeast is naturally occurring in the air, delicious.
The not so perfect hotel
I have managed to say no to the famous French wine and no to vast range of Belgium beers for several days, but I have made the decision that I will finish my challenge on the 20th of August, the day before the wedding and approximately 1 week before the end of my 3 month period.
The pinnacle of confidence for me is to achieve that unattainable goal of being able to get out of my head, to not be afraid to do anything I want, but also have the control to not do anything I regret. I see this goal as sharing a reverse exponential relationship with time, meaning I can get so close but never actually cross the finish line.
Music festivals help bring me just that little bit closer to achieving this goal. Every time I go I feel a little more free, a little more in touch with everyone around me, a little more confident, and a lot more happy.
At a music festival I think you have the freedom to be a unique individual but at the same time you’re a part of huge collective that all feels the same as you do. We are united by the fact that for those brief few days we are all free, happy, and unique.
I would like to echo what Chris has mentioned in regards to slipping into this imaginary world. I too have found it easier to do with the aid of drugs or alcohol, but I am gradually learning to do it without. I also think that by doing it without alcohol or drugs makes it that much more rewarding because it makes it more real.
This where I differ from Chris’ point of view in that I don’t see these festivals as not being a reality, I see them as a reminder that this is the way I need to live my life everyday.
It’s time to stop getting annoyed by the old lady that is driving 20km below the speed limit and will not pull into the left lane, stop stressing about next weeks report deadline, stop worrying about whether your new jeans are going to portray a true image of yourself. It doesn’t matter!
While I still want to strive to achieve great things it is also important for me to not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Each day I try to get closer to that elusive pinnacle of perfection and try to remember Elbert Hubbard’s famous words ‘Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive’.
The last couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs to say the least, and this entry has changed many times over while I try and come to terms with everything. I have found that a lot of things are starting to become a lot clearer and I think I now have a better perspective of what the purpose of this blog is for me.
As I touched on in my previous post, I don’t want to let life pass me by without noticing. I know for me this can easily happen if I get caught in a rut of going out every weekend, then working for the rest of the week just to pay the bills and to cover the weekend habit. This challenge has been a huge step forward in ensuring that I do get the most out of every day and keep making steps towards achieving my dreams.
I will complete my 3 month HSM to finish what I started, but I think I have already achieved what I needed to. I will return to drinking to enjoy the sweet taste of that beautiful Pepperjack beer, but it will be with a totally different attitude.
How everything can change so fast and turn your world upside down. I am now sitting at Melbourne airport waiting for a connecting flight to take me back to my home town to see my family. Only this time we will be minus one. Two days ago I had some shocking news. I picked up the telephone to hear my mother crying and that she had some bad news to tell me. I knew it had something to do with my father but certainly not to this extent.
The past few days have seemed like a bad nightmare. I never thought that something like this could ever happen to our family. My father was an extremely caring, thoughtful and loving man. However he never wanted anything that he had to deal with to affect us adversely in any way.
You will notice that I haven’t put words to what has actually happened. This is because I would like to keep some things private and partly because I can barely bring myself to acknowledge that this has happened.
I started out these posts with the best intentions of writing something humorous and entertaining that everyone will enjoy reading. So I apologise if this is not the post you were hoping to be reading, but this one is for me.
I spoke briefly about my experience travelling overseas in part 1 of this blog entry, of which drinking often played a big part in the adventure. This often came down to the fact that I was still unsure of my place in this world and how I should act in certain situations. As I am getting older I am finding confidence in who I am becoming as a person and no longer need the alcohol safety blanket.
I differ from some of the other bloggers in that I generally like the person I become when I drink. With some exceptions I am generally not overly loud or obnoxious. Alcohol just helped me lose my inhibitions and be more of the person I wanted to be.
I was quite shy as a young adolescent and one of the main turning points for me was when I was about 13 and overheard two girls gossiping about the fact that I could never looked people in the eye and had to repeatedly look away to avoid choking up. I developed a little trick to get me past this stage where I never looked in the eyes and just focused on the point of the nose in between the eyes to avoid the intimidation factor.
Ok so as promised here is the video footage from The End of Semester Party I organised through my F.K.Boss promotions business. I was hoping to have a little more footage but had some issues with video cameras being charged. This will still hopefully give you some idea of what the night was like and what I am trying to achieve with these events.
Ok, 2.15am 2 cans of Red Bull down and a lot of soft drink after a night out on the coast. By my calculations I’ve got at least another 3 hours of sugar and caffeine enhanced energy to get this second blog scribbled dow…. Hmm maybe I’ll just go for a quick jog. No, c’mon, focus; I’m a little wired to say the least. I will probably need to start drinking more water, especially when it’s more expensive for a glass of lemonade than a pot of beer, surely that can’t be right.
Two weeks almost done and I don’t want to preach like I’ve found the promise land, but I am actually really enjoying being able to go out and not drink. This is becoming my new identity and has allowed me a new sense of individuality. I love the fact I don’t have to feel like I need to be constantly buying drinks and being loud to prove to everyone around me that I am having a good time. Having the freedom to drive wherever and whenever is also extremely convenient.
I haven’t got everything figured out quite yet though. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but this is still just the beginning of my journey. It’s still awkward in some situations and I am gradually learning the process of letting go mentally without the help of alcohol.
I use the tips of previous bloggers such as having a drink in my hand as a transition for my own psyche. What to do with my hands has now become a big challenge. It’s time to switch off the brain, nobody cares whether you decide to fold your arms or put your hands in your back pockets.
The best tip I think is to be able to dance without worrying about what anyone else thinks. I am hoping to take this to the next level as well because I think if I can manage this then surely no other situation will feel as awkward. My challenge is to be able to stand next to that group of good looking girls that no-one dares talk to and dance with the unco-ordination equivalent of Monty Python’s Silly Walk, see below. Then give them an awkward wave as they all silently and simultaneously agree with a group look of astonishment and disgust that this guy must be off his head. Stay posted for the video footage.
The most important aspect for me at the moment is making sure I have something to talk about and not just taking the easy way out by asking the same questions “how’s uni going?”, “do you have many exams?”. I need to start forcing myself to attempt to control the conversation in a creative and entertaining manner.
One of my biggest goals is to really develop my social skills and to push myself out of my comfort zone. This means going out at any opportunity including continuing on after the races on my first day until 2am in the morning at a couple of different nightspots on the coast.
Having a great friend base has been a massive help in making this a fun challenge rather than something that is to be endured. However one thing I didn’t expect is the amount of compliments and best wishes I have had from various other people I know and have met while undertaking this challenge. So thank you everyone for your support thus far and yes I can give you a lift home next weekend.
Done, 4.30am and I am starting to get the caffeine shakes. Maybe I should wait till I’ve had some sleep before posting this one just to make sure it’s not the insomnia that is making me think that this is a great second post. Next day, 12pm, yes it was definitely the insomnia speaking, here is the slightly adjusted version.
I want to finish by leaving you with this slightly deeper query. Do you believe alcohol releases the person you really are inside by freeing you of your inhibitions; or does it completely change your persona; or then again does it simply depend on the individual person, the amount of alcohol consumed, and the individual situation as to how you act under the influence? Why do some people become angry and unsociable, while others become entertainers who are just out for a laugh?
Let me know what you think and I’ll speak to you soon. Cheers.
Hello Sunday Morning, not to forget all you other mornings of the week that may be feeling somewhat left out by the title of this blog. You too deserve credit for giving me a reason to wake up each morning. Even if it is through bloodshot hungover eyes that provide no elusion to the fact that I may empty the contents of my stomach onto the hotels front desk at any moment. But for at least one new set of eyes is a vision that is not impaired by excess alcohol consumption. I now look forward with a sense of trepidation and excitement to a future without the alcohol safety blanket that I have come to rely heavily upon.
It's easy to get swept away in a drinking culture. Sometimes we just need a rope to pull us to dry land so we can get some perspective. Hello Sunday Morning is one such rope.
The program is open to anybody that is ready to go three months without drinking and find the reasons in their life to say Hello Sunday Morning!
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