What does it mean to be care-free? How do you become care-free? I want to be free of caring. But I don’t want this to mean that I will cease to care for other people. I still want to be able to help other people. Not so I can create an identity of being totally selfless. More so because it just makes me feel good to do so.

I don’t want to be manipulated or directly influenced by everybody I interact with. But I am not so arrogant as to think that regardless of how strong minded I might be that I’m not influenced on some level by my environment and the people around me.

So I don’t want to care about what other people think of me but I don’t want to disregard the signs and subtle hints that are shown to me in my everyday life of interacting with different people. These help me understand myself better and grow to become more of the person I want to be.

However I won’t get caught up in analysing every little situation. Just become more aware of my environment and the people around me. Start living more in the present. Stop living in the past. And stop worrying about what is going to happen in the future.

Thinking about the future too much is counter productive for me because it means I start to think in terms of what should happen. What the world owes me. But the world owes me nothing and good things only happen to those who are willing to help themselves.

So to follow my dreams, be successful, feel happy and fulfilled, all I need to do is to be aware of what is happening in any present moment and enjoy each second as it passes. But I need to be careful not to place differing levels of importance on whether that very second might be going to a business meeting, socialising, or simply doing the dishes.

This means I don’t have to worry about what might happen because I know I will be present to make the most of the situation regardless of the outcome. Any time I fail or become annoyed by what has happened it is really just a lesson to help me change my actions or my perception of reality.

This has become evident for me recently after yet another argument with one of my superiors at work. I hate to blindly follow orders and I like to question any set procedure or standard way of thinking.

This is both a blessing and a curse. Especially since my boss likes to give orders and expects everyone to follow them without question. This irritates me immensely but I have recently come to the realisation that the only reason it affects me so much is because I often tend to do the same thing.

I form opinions and make decisions on matters and I often expect people to act in a certain way because of my actions. So I have resolved to never try and manipulate anyone. Only encourage or voice my opinion to help others understand things from a different perspective.

In the context of failing to achieve a set goal, this can teach me either that I didn’t work hard enough, pay attention to the signs, or have set the wrong goals. I can relate this not getting that job I wanted or not being able to make a connection with that girl I am attracted to.

The skill however is knowing which one of those lessons this failure is actually teaching me. Was she simply not right for me and I should adjust nothing? Did I approach the situation with the wrong attitude? Or in my present frame of mind am I simply not able to add any sense happiness or sense of fulfilment to her life.

So this is my secret to living a carefree life, while still caring for other people: not worrying about the future or living in the past; staying alert enough to notice and act on opportunities when they appear; never manipulating or being manipulated myself; but also never becoming so arrogant as to think that other people and my environment don’t impact on every decision I make.

DISCLAIMER: This is a beta theory, still in testing. I will let you know in some years, when I am about to breathe my last breath and pondering life as I know it, whether this frame of mind is actually effective for me.

What do you think?

-Aj

I am not a drinker; I am not a non-drinker; I am not a hotel employee; I am not a promoter; I am not an entrepreneur; I am not student; I am not a musician; and I am not writer, but sometimes I try to be.

I am not courageous or brave, despite what those Chinese symbols might say on my inner bicep; I am not an Australian although I am proudly born in this country; I am not Welsh, Irish, English or Kiwi despite my ancestral roots.

I do not belong to anyone or anything. I am not a product of my past but my view of the past helps shape my future. Whatever decisions I make in any present moment help define the person I become.

But please don’t identify with me with the things that I say or do because I have no idea what I am saying or doing.

I have made many mistakes but I have no regrets simply because it is counterproductive for me to think in those terms. I don’t discount my past because otherwise I would continually make the same mistakes over and over.

I have many hopes, goals, and dreams, but I have no clue where they will take me. I know exactly what I want but I constantly contradict myself and change my mind.

All that being said I am not confused with who I am or what I want to be. Understanding this has helped me to be myself more easily.

This doesn’t mean that I am always going to make all the correct decisions, or say the right things, but it does mean that I will always try to make the most of whatever situation or environment I find myself in.

Wish me luck.

I have recently come to the realisation that I constantly like to make things harder for myself. This means that I find it easier to push myself out of my comfort zone and be spontaneous, but it also means that I am impatient and sometimes overly ambitious.

I am a product of generation Y and I don’t like to wait for anyone or anything. I want to make things happen and reap the rewards straight away. This means I leave my assignments until the last minute, I rush to catch trains and planes when travelling (sorry Mum), and I try to take on too many projects at once.

I believe I am not the only one to do this, so why do we put ourselves under such pressure? I have come up with two theories, both of which have their upsides and downsides.

1^st Theory- To challenge myself to achieve something I wouldn’t ordinarily be able to learn.

2^nd Theory – To add a sense of excitement or drama to my life.

One such example would be when I was catching a train from Cardiff to London during my recent trip overseas. I left it until the last minute to get up which meant I literally had a 5 second shower, and no breakfast so we had some chance of catching the train we had booked the previous night. I did at least have the sense to print out directions to the train station but not to where the rental car return was located.

I handed the directions to my mum as we finished getting everything packed in the car and asked her to direct me. We made it to the Train Station with only 1 missed turn despite the complete lack of street signs anywhere. However the rental car return was nowhere to be seen. So we parked and I called the number of the office and I was placed on hold at 2^nd in the queue, the polite automated voice on the end of the phone told me.

After about 10 minutes and no movement in the queue I realised this wasn’t going anywhere fast. I decided to multitask and went to print out the express tickets from the machine and then ask whichever staff members I could find in the train station. I printed the tickets out fine but unfortunately not even the lady at the information desk knew where the rental car office was situated.

Cleverly I decided to ask the taxi drivers where it might be, the wealth of all useful city knowledge. However as useful as taxi drivers can be, they often have a tendency not to have much care for other road users. So by the time I had acquired the knowledge I now desperately needed another taxi driver and boxed me in my park so I couldn’t leave until he unloaded a minivan full of passengers and luggage.

As time is ticking by I am seriously pondering that this is finally going to be the time when I say ‘Ok, I missed the train. Don’t leave everything until the last minute. Lesson learnt.”

Then finally the taxi driver pulls away and all the other taxis now banked up behind also drive past so I can get my car out. I find the rental car office without much hassle, park the car, drop the keys, grab the paperwork and start running back to the station, which was probably about 5 kilometres away (actually more like 500 metres).

By this stage I am starting to feel like one of the contestants from the Amazing race. I find the first staff member I can find and ask them which platform we need to go to. He is surprisingly very helpful despite my slightly frantic demeanour while now panting heavily.

We lug our 3 suitcases and 2 backpacks, with a combined weight of about 200kg (another slight exaggeration), up to the platform and check to see if we made it. Yes and with 10 minutes to spare….

…That was even easier than I thought….

…Hmm, maybe I could have left this one even later.

In all seriousness though this did help validate several key lessons for me:

• I need to simplify some aspects of my life
• Not try to do everything at once
• Be prepared to do something without seeking reward or gratitude
• And try to be more patient

Hopefully then I will be more efficent and productive with the endeavours that are most important to me; I will be able to make the most of my opportunites; I will be free to find spontaneity and creativity in new challenges rather than creating chaos or excitement via trivial means.

After my recent trip overseas I have had the pleasure to spend a couple of days in one of my favourite cities in the world, Melbourne. There are so many things to love about this city, most of which are the relatively unknown interesting places that hide down the back lanes, side streets, upstairs lofts and various little nooks and crannies that Melbourne is known for.

One place that isn’t quite so hard to find but still was a new discovery for me was the Little Creatures Dining Hall on Brunswick Street. This place defines what I love about the city.

It had a fantastic atmosphere that just had this essence of being seemingly effortlessly cool. It’s not trying too hard to make money, be too sophisticated, or too alternative, it’s just unique and doesn’t have to pretend to be something it isn’t.

As you can see in the photos it is basically an old warehouse conversion with paint still peeling off the walls, exposedbeams, electrical leads above, and pipes running along the side. But it’s dressed up with bookcases displaying bottles of beer, small vases with flowers strapped to the walls where the paint is peeling off, and bright red paint to accentuate the pipes that run alongside the bar.

The food there is simple yet interesting and very tasty. The beer is delicious. And they also offer take away food and bike hire so you can go on a picnic with your friends. Such a novel and creative idea, I love it.

The staff that work their also embody, or in fact add to the atmosphere of the place. They seemed to have the ability to get the job done quickly and efficiently but still had the casual relaxed nature to be able to serve you as if you were friends rather than paying customers.

Thanks especially goes to two of the staff that were working on that Sunday afternoon. Firstly the guy that welcomed us in with old school flat cap and manicured beard, and the good looking bird with the waist coat that was working on the pass. You guys are special, you’re energy makes people smile and helps make this eatery what it is.

Thank you Melbourne and Little Creatures Dining Hall you’re an inspiration.

What if I never had to second guess my actions or spend time thinking about which path to choose? I think I would probably be more settled in my career path, I certainly wouldn’t have so much debt, but would I be happy?

I think sometimes to achieve the peaks and goals that you set for yourself you have to climb the mountain starting from the valley beneath. The higher the mountain, also the deeper the valley below, and so I think this applies to many aspects of life.

I knew after leaving high school that I didn’t want to go directly to University then find a job, a house, a wife and two kids, and a life mapped out in stone. Although I will no doubt want all these things one day, I just want to find things out for myself to see if I can find a better way of doing things.

So I asked myself: who am I; what do I enjoy doing; what do I want to be? I want to be successful and have women throwing themselves at me. I know, I’ll become a famous AFL player, every young (Victorian’s) dream right.

I was going to the gym and training hard but unfortunately those supplements didn’t help me grow quite as much as the sales people told me they would. And to my surprise becoming a famous and successful athlete proved to be quite hard.

I think most of the male species greatest accomplishments are born of this mind set to impress the female population and in turn improve our stature in the male community as well.

This is certainly true around the age of leaving school when all that is generally occupying the male brain is ‘How can I best attract the attention of any woman I want without having to try too hard.

However what I have come to realise is that if you are constantly looking to impress other people then you will probably never be able to be truly happy because you aren’t doing what inherently gives you the most satisfaction.

Then in turn if you aren’t doing what you want to do then how can you expect to surround yourself with the kind of people that you want to be around. So the answer must be to just do what you feel and back me up on this please ladies, that what is truly attractive is just being yourself and not being afraid to show it.

For me this also heavily relates back to what I was talking about earlier in taking a risk. If you decide to make the leap of faith then you have the opportunity to reach your true potential rather than just playing it safe and thinking about what could have been.

I think in some aspects of my life it has come easy for me to just take the leap, and others I am only just learning to let go of the fear of failure. What makes this easier for me now is that fact that the scariest thing for me would be waking up one morning when I am 65+ years old and realising, I’ve made a mistake and I’ve wasted my entire life by not giving something a try.

On the flip side, this view could also be crippling and end up leaving me constantly assessing, evaluating and reflecting without actually taking any action. So what is the answer? How do I maintain a balance between these two mind sets to achieve my goals without planning everything so rigidly that I can’t be creative or enjoy some sense of spontaneity?

Ultimately I want to stop wasting time, while still making all the correct decisions, without being afraid of doing whatever I want, to make me the happiest I could ever possibly be. That’s not too much to ask is it?

Welcome to Everest Base Camp, enjoy the climb.

I have decided to finish my Hello Sunday Morning a week early. My plans have changed quite a lot recently and I am now overseas while I come to the end of my journey. To mark the occasion I feel I needed some kind of significant event, a bookmark in my HSM and life timeline, a reward for hard work.

The perfect event for this bookmark was my cousin’s wedding in Belgium. I hopped on the plane on the 17^th of August to travel with my family through France, Belgium and Great Britain.

This sign towards one of Paris' top tourist spots, looks like it was written on a piece of cardboard with a Sharpie. Very French.

Geuze, can only be brewed in a specific region of Belgium where the yeast is naturally occurring in the air, delicious.

The not so perfect hotel

I have managed to say no to the famous French wine and no to vast range of Belgium beers for several days, but I have made the decision that I will finish my challenge on the 20^th of August, the day before the wedding and approximately 1 week before the end of my 3 month period.

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The pinnacle of confidence for me is to achieve that unattainable goal of being able to get out of my head, to not be afraid to do anything I want, but also have the control to not do anything I regret. I see this goal as sharing a reverse exponential relationship with time, meaning I can get so close but never actually cross the finish line.

Music festivals help bring me just that little bit closer to achieving this goal. Every time I go I feel a little more free, a little more in touch with everyone around me, a little more confident, and a lot more happy.

At a music festival I think you have the freedom to be a unique individual but at the same time you’re a part of huge collective that all feels the same as you do. We are united by the fact that for those brief few days we are all free, happy, and unique.

I would like to echo what Chris has mentioned in regards to slipping into this imaginary world. I too have found it easier to do with the aid of drugs or alcohol, but I am gradually learning to do it without. I also think that by doing it without alcohol or drugs makes it that much more rewarding because it makes it more real.

This where I differ from Chris’ point of view in that I don’t see these festivals as not being a reality, I see them as a reminder that this is the way I need to live my life everyday.

It’s time to stop getting annoyed by the old lady that is driving 20km below the speed limit and will not pull into the left lane, stop stressing about next weeks report deadline, stop worrying about whether your new jeans are going to portray a true image of yourself. It doesn’t matter!

While I still want to strive to achieve great things it is also important for me to not get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Each day I try to get closer to that elusive pinnacle of perfection and try to remember Elbert Hubbard’s famous words ‘Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive’.

Thank you Splendour.

The last couple of weeks have been a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs to say the least, and this entry has changed many times over  while I try and come to terms with everything. I have found that a lot of things are starting to become a lot clearer and I think I now have a better perspective of what the purpose of this blog is for me.

As I touched on in my previous post, I don’t want to let life pass me by without noticing. I know for me this can easily happen if I get caught in a rut of going out every weekend, then working for the rest of the week just to pay the bills and to cover the weekend habit. This challenge has been a huge step forward in ensuring that I do get the most out of every day and keep making steps towards achieving my dreams.

I will complete my 3 month HSM to finish what I started, but I think I have already achieved what I needed to. I will return to drinking to enjoy the sweet taste of that beautiful Pepperjack beer, but it will be with a totally different attitude.

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How everything can change so fast and turn your world upside down. I am now sitting at Melbourne airport waiting for a connecting flight to take me back to my home town to see my family. Only this time we will be minus one. Two days ago I had some shocking news. I picked up the telephone to hear my mother crying and that she had some bad news to tell me. I knew it had something to do with my father but certainly not to this extent.

The past few days have seemed like a bad nightmare. I never thought that something like this could ever happen to our family. My father was an extremely caring, thoughtful and loving man. However he never wanted anything that he had to deal with to affect us adversely in any way.

You will notice that I haven’t put words to what has actually happened. This is because I would like to keep some things private and partly because I can barely bring myself to acknowledge that this has happened.

I started out these posts with the best intentions of writing something humorous and entertaining that everyone will enjoy reading. So I apologise if this is not the post you were hoping to be reading, but this one is for me.

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I spoke briefly about my experience travelling overseas in part 1 of this blog entry, of which drinking often played a big part in the adventure. This often came down to the fact that I was still unsure of my place in this world and how I should act in certain situations. As I am getting older I am finding confidence in who I am becoming as a person and no longer need the alcohol safety blanket.

I differ from some of the other bloggers in that I generally like the person I become when I drink. With some exceptions I am generally not overly loud or obnoxious. Alcohol just helped me lose my inhibitions and be more of the person I wanted to be.

I was quite shy as a young adolescent and one of the main turning points for me was when I was about 13 and overheard two girls gossiping about the fact that I could never looked people in the eye and had to repeatedly look away to avoid choking up. I developed a little trick to get me past this stage where I never looked in the eyes and just focused on the point of the nose in between the eyes to avoid the intimidation factor.

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