I have one friend in particular who I would consider my enabler.  Our friendship started at a work drinks function and everytime we caught up, it would often turned into a big night.    I realised that I couldn’t think of one time where he and I caught up without drinking.

I have had to check the kind of time I will spend in his company during my HSM, because he (teasingly) discouraged my efforts, and semi-jokingly placed bets on how soon it would be before I caved.  So I intentionally put off catching up for a good few weeks.  When we did catch up last week, and I was sober, I noticed that the conversation was much harder to start.  I found this a bit disarming at first, but on reflection, I have a greater perspective of the nature of this friendship.

I’m approaching half way of my 3 month HSM, and hand on heart, I feel amazing.  I feel alive, healthy and have more energy, which was one of my main reasons for undertaking this challenge.  My other reason for this challenge was to learn more about myself, how I think, choices I make or have made, and I think I’m doing fine in that space too.

Til next blog,

Belinda

“Character is who you are when no-one’s watching”.   For me, this created a sort of awakening and a new resolve.  I had often thought of ”character” as how we represent ourselves to and for others.   Which (truth be told) made it very easy for me to opt out, to not succceed or to commit half heartedly, seeing that I was doing or being based on ”others”.   All too often we place more value on what others think of us, or expect from us.  I’m learning that character is deeper than that.  So, who am I when no-one’s watching?  What is it that I am seeking to achieve or be?  Why is it important to me to succeed?

Today is day 10 for me,  of no alcohol.  I survived my first weekend without grog!  And I woke up each morning of the weekend with this amazing energy.  It felt really good to get out and enjoy my weekend without the horrid fogginess of a hangover!  I even went to the gym and trained for a couple of hours first thing saturday morning (and that never happens!!!).

That’s not to say I didn’t have temptations and challenges during the week.   I finished up a contract at work this week, and the obligatory drinks were provided on Thursday night.  As tempted as I was for a lovely glass of wine with my colleagues, I stood firm and chose mineral water.    There were a few feeble attempts at persuading me to have ‘just one glass’.  But I remembered the quote about character.  It’s interesting how strong your resolve becomes when you stand by that commitment you made to yourself.

This HSM journey is not about or for anyone else.  I am doing this for me.

After the weekend I’ve just had, I’ve run out of excuses.  There must be better ways of getting that buzz, that feeling of invincibility.    Yep, drinking gives me a buzz.  I love it.  I love the social aspect, I love the heady spin after the third glass.  But I do not like losing control, or losing time or wasting my weekends.  Which is precisely what I’ve become very good at.  Alcohol has become my friend.  More often than I care to remember or admit, I’ve often over indulged in alcohol  - to pick me up after a broken relationship, to soothe me after a shite week at work or to celebrate a great week, or to support a friend in need or share in a friend’s successes.  Acutally I’ve always been able to come up with an excuse.   So this is it.  No more excuses.    I’m hoping this three months will allow me to find my spirit, seek out new interests, be inspired by new things, try things I’ve never had time to do.

My best friend ran the gold coast half marathon last weekend, and I was totally in awe of her achievement.  She set her mind to something, trained for it sensibly, and achieved her goal.  I used to be an avid runner myself.   I do vaguely recall the buzz you get from running; they call it the runner’s high.  My new focus, which will help me in my HSM, is to run the bridge to brisbane.

So, here’s to the next three months and finding that new buzz.