It’s been a while between drinks ….

(PS, I love shitty jokes; I think it’s the grand-dad in me training up for a spate of embarrassing future Christmas dinners)

But there has been something I’ve been thinking about over the last few weeks….  and it’s a bit of a  big’un

What’s the stepping stone?
Where does HSM move out past ‘an interesting social experiment’ to ‘a real, on the ground, visible change in culture’?

That’s a big gap.

I’ve grown up with change, my dad is a civil engineer and my mum is a teacher, the fuzzy memories I have of childhood are more clear around every big shift than they are around what happened in each place we went. I’ve been in Brisbane since year 7 now, and although the big childhood shifts like schools, friends and homes are done now; change is still something I’m pretty used to having.

Anyone who knows me will be able to back me up on that – I change my mind more than I know what time it is, so doing HSM was magnetic for me.

Hello Sunday Morning for me has been about distilling the interactions that I have on with alcohol and figuring out how they work.
Also for the challenge; coming from a club background, every weekend over the last 4 years, and I literally mean – every weekend with the exception of maybe 20, has involved one drink.

It sounds bad, but it’s nowhere near the realm of alcoholism… or at least, I don’t think it is. I’ve never “needed” a drink, except for when tax time comes round, but that’s normal right?

There are of course the exceptions; the one or two ‘let’s get fucked up’ moments, and they marry up pretty well with almost every one of the more significant events like touring artists or festivals.
A little harder to brush the motivation to go with the flow, but it’s not really a conflict anymore.

The only other challenge was relationships.
I’ve usually had fairly drama free relationships but the last breakup I’ve been going through has been dogsballs – and that came apart right on when I started HSM, in fact it was one of the major drivers for starting in the first place.
I made a deliberate choice to get past it without drinking and it’s been both awesome and really shit at the same time.
Just sitting with it and taking the experience in has helped me get my head around who I am as a person and how to get some disconnect from events that would normally floor me without just blacking myself out until I forget about it.
The exposure to the drinking situation as part of my working environment has clocked up some serious time and I’m pretty used to being able to stay neutral there now.

8 Hours a night
3 Nights a week
4 Years

4992 Hours – that a bit on the dramatic side taking into account nights off, holidays, sick days etc, but it’s pretty close – and its breathing down the neck of being an expert!

The change, was actually making the decision to start doing a HSM. Almost as though it flicked a switch in my head that said – “try harder”

I still go out, and I still have a great time. Further to that I’ve have a really amazing response, even so far as people beginning to talk about trying it for themselves.

So how has does this translate to a bigger shift – should I be encouraging everybody I ever met to start Hello Sunday Morning?

There are a solid few people in the program now, each with their own goals, objectives and motivations.
There are also a lot of people out there that have big drinking problems, each with their own reasons, circles of friends and systems for creating meaning.

HSMers – so far as I can tell, share at least one thing in common, a drive for change.
But not everyone has that – and shifting drinking from a socially, legally and at the moment, politically crippling pandemic to a normal part of everyday live that’s respected and correctly appreciated is going to take some time.

So HSM might not be for everyone – but the result, however much the level of change slides, is.

So the idea – change – positivity and personal growth – maybe even just de-tox….??

How do you translate everyone’s personal construct of alcohol to match a unified understanding of the solution?

I’ve found it by learning how to talk drunk.

Getting to the bottom of the experience; rather than the drinking that accelerated it.
It’s been relatively easy to put myself there without actually drinking.
What I think most people get put off by is a little strange, almost as though as soon as you separate yourself from your friends who ARE drinking, you turn into a different species and loose all ability to communicate or exchange value.
And when you think about it like that – it’s just dumb.
You’re no different, nothing changes, fundamentally. So how exactly should your expectation for a good experience change? Unless you talk yourself into having a crap time because you’re sober.

I would, and do, encourage people to do HSM for themselves.  The support system, the program and the crew are amazing and for anyone seeking a change in any aspect of their life, not just drinking: do it – today.

The alcohol thing is more like the kick off, once you’re in there’s a lot more to it.

Change something, change a lot; find your clarity in chaos.

Last weekend was one of the first weekends I’ve had off in a long time.

All week I had been enjoying storyboarding the action montage of a weekend on the way, scribbling notes for “heaps awesome shit I had to do” on everything I could find.

Thursday came around and we kicked things off in a throwback to uni life with a visit to Hotel LA to watch my mate Brett play in the finals of a DJ competition there.

Out of all the things I’ve done since I started HSM, THAT, was probably one of the hardest.
Hotel LA is not the kind of place I usually go (I don’t know why I feel the need to clarify that, but just in case – I’m doing it) and in this kind of situation, I would normally be drinking. Alot. In fact, I had thought about taking the staff up on the poster promotion they had plastered around the place,

BRING 10 FRIENDS into HOTEL LA AND RECIEVE A COCKTAIL PLATTER AND $50 VOUCHER

But I was promptly reminded that Bookings were essential and conditions applied.  Damn.

I still don’t really understand these kinds of promotions, I mean, I get the idea.  But it gives off a really lame feeling, more than an incentive to actually comfort the people that decide to come on their own.

Kinda like posting a status update along the lines of “I’m so lonely, wish someone would be friends with me”…. no-one is going to reply to that.

Saturday night was great, the night started with a 2hour drive to Cabarita to THAT FESTIVAL, a little festival just in from the NSW border. I was down there to do the lighting for the Midnight Juggernauts and have got to admit, was a little nervous about doing it without a CC just to drop in with. Especially when you forget the gig is on NSW time and have to program a whole show and go over a set list in half an hour.  :/

The vibe was awesome though and even though the crowd were starting to struggle it was still a great night. Followed by another great drive back to Brisbane for Stanton Warriors!

Saturday night really showed me something I didn’t quite expect it to; I didn’t, for one minute, feel any different to any other night I’ve been out and drinkning. I got some funny looks, probably because I was the guy that always had a bottle of water in his hand…. but otherwise it was one of the best nights I’ve had out with my friends.

So far, simply being more aware of how my friends interact has been really interesting.
It’s not because I’m more sober either, I’ve always felt I’ve been mostly aware of how these interactions happen, but HSM has really shifted my focus to paying more attention to the finer points, watching how other groups operate as well, and learning to let go, without getting drunk.

It’s pretty common knowledge that friend groups reinforce a particular lifestyle or are on a similar journey to the others. My HSM so far has been adjusting this journey, taking booze out, but keeping it on the same track, I’m after a big change, but a personal one, and cutting off from the social interaction that alcohol is such a part of, is not the way I want to do it.

I had really expected that after having worked for a club for so long, going clubbing would be borderline impossible without having a drink, but it’s been almost the opposite, I get a lot of pressure from my friends, many of whom are passionate and very talented bar tenders (I feel like it’s almost a little bit offensive when I tell them about HSM) but I’m so used to the experience now, from working and from just living it, that I don’t feel the need to HAVE to drink if I don’t want to… I have a feeling there is one of these experiences on the horizon though.

What was particularly awesome about the whole experience was the fact that when 4:30 rolled around – I COULD DRIVE HOME!

So the takeaway – 100% confident that I’m not missing out on anything by not drinking with my mates. I’m not saying I don’t want to, there’s still a big part of me that wants to, but I’m not worried about the outcome of not having a CC with the boys or passing on a shot.

What I really feel is important about this whole process is that I’m not making judgement calls on my friends.  I don’t stand at the bar and wave my finger disapprovingly… I still buy rounds when I’m out, in fact I’ve found that I’m able to afford to extend that even further now that I don’t need to buy myself one, which is awesome.

One of the biggest points that I realised is that, it’s more important to share the experience than to experience everything in exactly the same way. It’s giving me a bit of perspective and it’s a damn fun challenge.

See you at Stereosonic next weekend!!!

A brief insight into my newly found ability to wake up on Sunday morning

I had planned for my first post to be a lot more thought out. Fairly substantial, referencing many people, events, theories I’ve invented while drawing on a napkin; but, impulse seems to have won again.

Not about to start questioning that!

So tonight is officially 11 days in.
Doing a bit of a simulcast tonight! Where ever you see “–” that’s time passing (feel free to insert montage and Extreme’s “Mutha, don’t wanna go to school today” at any point)

First night out – Sasha at the met!

–

First half of the night was rough, something so familiar about the feeling that it was nearly impossible not to go straight to the bar. Like a default pattern. In, up to spy, shot, CC, shot, dance, air synths, repeat 3-7. I know this isn’t going to be the last time I have this conflict either.

The first shot was the hardest, kinda like leaving a friend hanging on a high five, and enduring the akward pause while they check if you’re serious or not.

First hurdle clear and almost instantly a CC appears in my hand, if this is a test… It’s bullshit! I bleed CC!… After a period of contemplative drink warming I
find an owner for that one too…

–

This water is really refreshing!

–

I really need to pee – lots…

–

It’s 3am, The rolling wave of techno that has been building up for the last 3hours has finally crashed! And it’s fkn rad! I know where I would be under any other circumstances, and Im not too far off it actually, just a little more aware of it all. (and physically able to write that last paragraph).

–
Argh! Amazing! The photos are shit but they MIGHT just get the idea across

–

4:00 home – bed

That was 3 solid hours of tech heaven & I know Im going to remember that! Great night…. Cant wait for the pornstar party at Mono tomorrow night!

Now for sleep.

hello Friday morning…

Hi my name is Ben.

….I’m trying really hard to not make a joke about being an alcoholic right now.

There are a couple of reasons why I’m here… none of which are “I’m an alcoholic” or “If I go on a booze-strike, maybe the world will change”.
I’m here for the ride – I am impulsive at the best of times and in the wake of some fairly significant life changes, I thought I might embark upon another adventure.

6 months dry. Hello Sunday Morning.

I’ve spent just over the last 4 years working as a lighting guy for Family nightclub in the valley’s semi-endangered entertainment precinct; its safe to say that booze has played a big part in that. Anyone who knows me from work will be able to tell you about it. So lets not go into too much detail right here.

Let me make this perfectly clear from the start. I’m not here to bash the booze.
I strongly believe I have no problems with Alcohol, many of my friends don’t, some do, but really that’s not the point in my opinion.

For me, HSM is something with value a lot further beyond the investigation of alcohol and its place in popular culture. It’s about positivity, entertainment and life satisfaction. In one word – options.

You can take that however you want.  Your understanding of it is going to be much more interesting than anything I say.

The way I see it, there is nothing wrong with Alcohol. Period.
There are however, some problems with the way particular people turn to it, rely on it or misuse it to an end that becomes a problem.

What I intend to find out from my long and somewhat socially retarded choice of time to go without booze is:

-       Exactly what role alcohol plays in my life and the lives of my friends, family and random encounters.

-       What might change when I take it out of the picture, and

-       The kinds of situations I encounter that hit that ‘lets get rugby league drunk’ button, how often these occur and how they go being ‘lets get relatively well hydrated without having to worry about a hangover (ever)’ moments.

I’ll be keeping some notes along the way and posting everything I find even remotely relevant up here, on the blog.

Twitter me @Mad_Panda or be my friend

Facebook.com/ben.hamley

It’s going to a bumpy ride.

Next week the trickle will be getting a little bigger. Some inspiring young people have now put their hands to do their own Hello Sunday Morning for the next 6 months.

We were going to wait until we could find some funding somewhere to get behind the project and really offer some experiences of value to those that chose to take up the challenge. But, unfortunately (or fortunately) patience has never been my forte.

So.. we are going to kick things off next week!

I must say that it is very cool to see young people put their hands up and give it a crack with nothing to gain but that which they will get from the challenge (which I know is massive!!). It’s really humbling on two levels.

1) I feel proud of myself for doing this thing and being vulnerable enough to earn the right to ask(/challenge) other young people to do the same.

2) I’m humbled by the willingness for young people to stand up and make a choice not because they have to, but just because they believe in a better way. A better way for themselves and for those around them. They believe they can challenge those belief systems around alcohol which have been handed to them, from one generation to the next. More importantly, they believe they can change it for the generations that will follow them. We are not many. But we have conviction and purpose which is stronger than any number.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that Hello Sunday Morning is not against alcohol. More importantly, it’s definately not against those people that drink it, for whatever reason they need to. I’ve got nothing but understanding and love for you. In fact I learn so much about freedom, expression, living in the moment and letting go from your actions. So thank you.

However, I do have something to own. I have to own that for a while there, I did take responsibility for world’s drinking problem. Every time I was out and I saw someone hurt themselves I felt like a failure in a way. I wanted to pick them up and tell them to WAKE UP!! Like helping a butterfly struggling out of a chrisalis, it’s just not their time. I had this realisation with my life coach yesterday and the good news is I have now let go of that. And breathe.

So that leaves me with what Hello Sunday Morning is about. In essence it’s really about the 200 people around me. It’s about the 200 people around you. The 200 people we know, love and care for. It’s about challenging and growing with those 200 people to the next level of consciousness. The next level of happiness. One person, one choice, one moment at a time.

So to the individuals that have stood up to their occasion; Ben Hamley, Chris Ruddock (and three others that I’m holding this space for – you know who you are) I feel privledged to be on this journey with you and I look forward to supporting you through the challenges ahead!