1 Week In!! (By Cass Nichol)

So here I am one week into my 3 month HSM and it has been a great and eye opening week..I have decided to start my weekly blog with a check of how I felt during the week and also some emotions that may have come up for me..that way I can look back have a read and see what might trigger certain things:  So lets start..this week  I have felt: Relief, happiness, calmness, in control, surprised, loved, motivated, doubtful, sad, teary, disappointed, challenged but most of all so much less lonely ( YIPEE )!!

One of the biggest lessons I have learn’t this week is to never assume or think you know how people will react to you telling them your not going to drink for the next 3 weeks.  Alcohol for me has always made me think of the negative before I would think of the positive. So when I decided to do my HSM and before I told any of my friends I had the whole scenario and peoples reactions mapped out in my head, the actual outcome has been the complete opposite of how I predicited.  It has completely blown me away the kind, loving and supportive words that i have received from my friends, they don’t realise how much easier they have made this for me..So anyone out there considering doing this and are afraid of what their friends will think I say “don’t underestimate them”..also to the friends out there that may be hearing “Im not drinking for the next 3 months”  don’t judge, don’t take it personally and most of all don’t ever think or let your friendship be based on alcohol..get out there and experience new things and find different activites to do together ( I already have a friend ropped in to running the City to Surf with me..yes u nik )!

My first weekend on HSM I decided to have a nice weekend a home relaxing, reading, catching up with family, going for runs and doing Bikram Yoga ( I don’t think I have been to a Sunday morn class in like forever )..I know your all probably thinking oh thats easy to get through not drinking but as I said in my previous blog I do a lot of drinking on my own.  You know what is was a lot easier that I thought it would be..did I think how much I would love a wine..yes of course..the difference now is its just not an option for me where as before I would think of ways to justify it and cave in to the temptation.  Speaking of temptation I think the next week is going to probably be one of the hardest I will experience over the next 3 months..being a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding in Byron Bay..a 4 day affair of food, wine and great fun..some people would question my timing of taking on HSM 1 week before a wedding but for me its like if I can get through this not having to drink then I can get through any social situation without it…also it would be nice for once to not be so trashed or the most trashed at a wedding and to sit back, enjoy and remember every experience from the day!!

So till next week…

Cass

3 months of It’s All About Me….

Hi Everyone,

My name is Cassie. Im a little bit older than all the other bloggers at 35 so I guess my story is going to be a bit different, more about things that I thought and hoped would have happened in my life by now and how I have been dealing with my life not turning out how I thought.  I thought doing this blog would be a piece of cake but I have actually found it really confronting and it kind of freaks me out about posting it on the internet. I have spent what seems like a very long time googling the internet trying to find something like HSM and when I finally did I was very close to pulling out!

I have decided to be part of HSM for 3 months from today.  I think for me I need to start small and take each day at a time. Also 6/12 months was a bit too much of a scary thought for now. But hey who knows its something to look at after my 3 months is completed.

I have read some of the other bloggers say they have a love/hate relationship with alcohol and I definitely agree with them. I love it while I’m drinking it but hate it the next day. The guilt, shame, memory loss, hang-over and change of mood definitely makes me think why do I keep doing this to myself??  But somehow once I start to feel better these thought seem to disappear and there I am doing it all over again.

So what brings me here is I think binge drinking in the 30+ category is just as bad as it is in the teens to 20’s category. I actually think for me it could be worse.  I spent my 20’s drinking and partying but thinking back it was always nights drinking Sub Zero’s (showing my age now) or some other lolly water (I like to call it “bitch piss”).  In my late 20’s to now I got introduced and fell in love with wine.  Everyone who drinks wine and a lot of it knows how trashed it gets you. It’s not uncommon for me and 2 friends to polish of close to 5 bottles in one night. Also one thing I would never have done in my 20’s is drink on my own. I would never have dreamed of buying a bottle of wine and sitting at home and polishing it off by myself.  This has now become a regular occurrence and I know a lot of other 35+ women who do the same. I have thought a lot about this lately, especially since having to sit and do this blog and I have come up with 2 reason why I/others do this:

1) My social circle is a lot smaller now than in my 20’s. Most of my close friends are married with kids or have a partner so not going out as much which means more time at home alone

2) Boredom and loneliness

Which brings me to this question? If someone asked me in my teens early 20’s “what will your life be like at 30+”?? I would have definitely answered “Ill be married to a great guy, couple of kids living a happy fun life”. At 35 (almost 36) I have the happy fun life. I really do love my life but I really do love the idea of a family unit. Not having succeeded in this area has been extremely hard for me especially to sit and watch each of your friends get married and have kids, basically living your dream. Unfortunately what I have done is let this rule my life and become my number one focus the last couple of years resulting in neglecting myself. I feel like I have been living to much in the future lately and not enjoying each day I was experiencing. Alcohol just came along as a coping aid; it went from being a social thing for me to a good (very) good way to fill a void..it has also become a very bad habit!

This is why I have signed up for HSM because you know what I’m SO OVER IT.  For the next 3 months it is going to be all about me. I’m going to work on setting myself goals/adventures things that are going to take me out of my comfort zone and to embrace the very fortunate life I have been given!!

It’s funny but I’m not that worried about not drinking for 3 months. Don’t get me wrong I know it is going to be hard but what I am most scared (okay petrified) about is becoming a social outcast not only that but a “single” social outcast.  It’s hard enough out there on the scene but throw in not drinking as well is going to be very interesting. Who knows I may have a few funny stories to tell. This fear has stopped me so many times in the past from doing this but hey I’ve posted my first blog so no getting out of it now.

BRING IT ON. Heres to no hang overs, no guilt, no memory loss…but lots of Bikram yoga, running, healthy eating, health living but most of all lots of laughter!!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog..would love to hear your comments, thoughts etc!!

Cass