This post is not so much a revelation that I have had whilst out rather this is a post about how my most recent night went and i was feeling throughout.

A couple of days ago, I was invited to an industry function which involved bringing together the best Brisbane’s design graduates with industry leaders.  The night involved a networking, music and a lot of alcohol.

The start of my night was fantastic, I was really enjoying myself, loving being apart of an industry which houses some of the coolest and creative people.  I felt really confident, talking and meeting a lot new people, connecting with guys that I know but have never had chance to connect with before hand – all in all I was thinking ‘tonight is going to be awesome!’

More importantly I was not missing alcohol at all!

That was until a really good mate of mine came up, right at that tipsy stage where you’re feeling loose but totally in control! That’s when the night went downward!

Once that happened I had it in my head that in order to make my night that much more enjoyable, I needed to drink! It was that conflict between really wanting a drink to make my night even better and not letting my self, which caused me to ‘sulk away’ and loose a lot of confidence.

However, this initial conflict was a really weird feeling; I really wanted to be at the event as it had such a good vibe but I also didn’t think I could last much longer!

It was at about 9.00pm when I had the chance to leave and get a lift home. However, for a number of reasons I thought that I really should stay and continue to throw myself into the deep end to see I could swim.  So I stayed fir a while longer.

This is the part that I tell you that staying was the best decision and the night turned out great. However this was not the case! What actually happened was very similar to how the night began; I started to have fun again! That did not last long though, this time I believe it was because the people that were left over were past the tipsy loose stage and started to get drunk!

Contrary to my previous experience interacting with drunken people, it was surprisingly very hard to interact and connect with the people remaining at the event, as the drunker they were there interest in me and there conversational ability decreased dramatically.

I finally left the event at about 10.30 feeling really depressed and quite annoyed at a few things;

• Why did I let the thought that alcohol would make my night better ruin my night?
• Why didn’t I leave an hour before hand and make my decision on what I wanted to do nit what u think I should be doing?
• Why did I let my self-get depressed over all this?

This night definitely made me realize that I have a long way to go until I will be totally comfortable not drinking in such situations.

As I write this post, this years Christmas tree is in the process of being put together, which we are putting up as a family.  I love how the same events through out this process happen every year without fail; we all watch my dad do the one job that he will have anything to do with – putting the lights on the tree – and wait for my mum to come and show me the laminated Christmas decoration, which I made when I was 4, before she puts it on the tree (I though you all should see my masterpiece so there is a photo below).

However, it is the memories that putting up the Christmas tree evoke which brought on the inspiration for this post.  Some of these memories are from my childhood and how excited I used to get in the lead up to Christmas.  Where others are more recent memories which involve the whole family sitting around the tree late at night all enjoying a coffee and some kind of after dinner drink – a port for me, a whiskey for my dad and a Cointreau for the women in the family.

When this more recent memory came to mind, it was the first time in my HSM challenge that I thought ‘damn I really wish I hadn’t stopped drinking’ and felt that I was missing out on something.

To date I have not found my HSM experience hard at all.  I have been out a few times sober where I have noticed a massive difference in the way my nights turn out; a little less dancing, a little less interacting with random’s, get very tired much quicker and feel a lot better on my Sunday mornings.  However, I have still always had a really good time and more importantly not missed alcohol or felt as though I was missing out on something.

Although, tonight I really miss that added togetherness which sharing a drink with your family around a Christmas tree can create.

It is going to be a very interesting festive season, but still looking forward to the journey!

Unfortunately I have been a little slow to getting to my first blog as started my HSM challenge right in the middle of exams.  Now they are finished forever, I am knee deep in all things Hello Sunday Morning.

I have been involved in HSM since January and it is now day 12 days into my own personal 6-month challenge, throughout which I have received nothing but overwhelming support.  However, recently I experienced my first negative feedback about this project and me taking 6 months off drinking….

There is a facebook page floating around which is a petition against locking down the valley at 2am.  I became a member of this group and posted a comment saying that I was in support of this cause, that I was going to be taking the Hello Sunday Morning Challenge – who would like to join me along the way?

What I received from this comment was far removed from what I expected…. I received about 5 quite derogatory comments from different members of the group attacking me personally (see the link below my comment is quite a way down).   Initially took these attacks on board and really took it quite hard, but after about an hour or so of not being able to concentrate on study I was able to get over it.

Coincidently I was actually in the middle of studying for my last Psychology exam, which was a Social Psychology subject focusing on intergroup processes and relations.

Whilst going through my notes after this incident I found something really interesting, that what I was learning was actually playing out right in front of me.

Essentially I believe that those people reactions comes back to a theory of intergroup behaviour called the Social Identity Theory.  What this theory basically says is that individuals form a social identity through the group based behaviours and attitudes, which make them different from other groups. Individuals then view this social identity as apart of their self-concept, which ultimately controls how they feel about themselves (i.e. their self-esteem).

It is easy to assume that people in general want to feel good about themselves, which leads to people being motivated to protect any threat to their group and think of themselves as being better than other groups.  Also, it is the high identifiers to these groups, which will exhibit the most negativity towards threat to their group.

Relating this back to what happened to me, it is obvious that this portion of youths that commented highly identify with the stereotype which Australian youths are given and form part of their self-concept around going out to the valley until 5 am binge drinking.  Having this in mind it is quite obvious why I received such negativity, having me come into their social group supporting different behaviours and attitudes was actually detrimental to their own self-esteem, and their reaction was to defend they only way they could… by attacking me.

I have taken this experience as a massive learning curve in how to talk about and handle my own association to the Hello Sunday Morning program.  Essentially, for me it is not about challenging the masses beliefs or attitudes towards the binge drinking culture it is about providing an alternative to those individuals that are looking for it.  Also, I should not use this blog to comment on the difference in attitudes and behaviour that others hold but rather to give you an insight as to how I am dealing with the challenge…

Please give me your thoughts…

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=163145252559&ref=mf

As like many other things, my intimate relationship with alcohol started well into my teen years… Late bloomer!!  However, when I did start, I quickly made up for lost drinking time.

My first memory of being drunk was when I was 16 and at one of the typical ‘house parties’ which school kids throw!  That night ended like many other nights in my life involving alcohol… me passing out after making a fool of my self.

The amount of which I drank drastically increased at the age of 18 when I moved out of the sticks and into the inner city.   You would frequently see me my mates, head under the beer taps at the ‘Regattas’ beloved ‘Hour of Power’ (14 I think was my record), or being one of the masses at the Port Office’s student night on Thursday (which made Friday morning lectures a blast).

At 20, a number of friends and I did what most Australians do in their university holidays…. We picked up and moved to Canada for 3 months to work on the snowfields.  Big White was were we called home, and Sam’s was where we got hammered!

Alcohol has always played a large role in my life… it was the seen as the catalyst for fun and it was what I based a lot of friendships on.  While also playing a large role in my family, 5 o’clock would come around and you would inevitably hear my grandfather yelling ‘is it drink time yet!’ to my grand mother.  Although my family would never get drunk, it was not uncommon for a couple of drinks to be had before, during and sometimes after dinner.

Now at the age of 22 it has not been until recently that I have actually enjoyed the taste of alcohol but I have always really enjoyed getting drunk! These days I might not go out drinking as often as I once did…. However when I do go out it is inevitable that I would drink until the point where I would be in bed all Sunday.

For me, I am not only using my Hello Sunday Morning Challenge to learn how to function in social situations without alcohol, but using it a catalyst for change in many areas of myself which I believe need working on…

Follow me on my journey!

Follow me on twitter:

@chrisruddock_

Or hit me up on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/chrisruddock

Next week the trickle will be getting a little bigger. Some inspiring young people have now put their hands to do their own Hello Sunday Morning for the next 6 months.

We were going to wait until we could find some funding somewhere to get behind the project and really offer some experiences of value to those that chose to take up the challenge. But, unfortunately (or fortunately) patience has never been my forte.

So.. we are going to kick things off next week!

I must say that it is very cool to see young people put their hands up and give it a crack with nothing to gain but that which they will get from the challenge (which I know is massive!!). It’s really humbling on two levels.

1) I feel proud of myself for doing this thing and being vulnerable enough to earn the right to ask(/challenge) other young people to do the same.

2) I’m humbled by the willingness for young people to stand up and make a choice not because they have to, but just because they believe in a better way. A better way for themselves and for those around them. They believe they can challenge those belief systems around alcohol which have been handed to them, from one generation to the next. More importantly, they believe they can change it for the generations that will follow them. We are not many. But we have conviction and purpose which is stronger than any number.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that Hello Sunday Morning is not against alcohol. More importantly, it’s definately not against those people that drink it, for whatever reason they need to. I’ve got nothing but understanding and love for you. In fact I learn so much about freedom, expression, living in the moment and letting go from your actions. So thank you.

However, I do have something to own. I have to own that for a while there, I did take responsibility for world’s drinking problem. Every time I was out and I saw someone hurt themselves I felt like a failure in a way. I wanted to pick them up and tell them to WAKE UP!! Like helping a butterfly struggling out of a chrisalis, it’s just not their time. I had this realisation with my life coach yesterday and the good news is I have now let go of that. And breathe.

So that leaves me with what Hello Sunday Morning is about. In essence it’s really about the 200 people around me. It’s about the 200 people around you. The 200 people we know, love and care for. It’s about challenging and growing with those 200 people to the next level of consciousness. The next level of happiness. One person, one choice, one moment at a time.

So to the individuals that have stood up to their occasion; Ben Hamley, Chris Ruddock (and three others that I’m holding this space for – you know who you are) I feel privledged to be on this journey with you and I look forward to supporting you through the challenges ahead!