It’s hard to write exactly what I feel because I know that when I get back to drinking there is a 100% chance that I will have big nights and drink too much but I’ll just let you know that now…and write my thoughts.

I am so happy that I’ve been doing HSM. I’ve definitely had negative thoughts about it and in some respects it is annoying but it been so good for me! I will admit that the kilos didn’t just drop off  as Id imagined and I didn’t become super intelligent but in reality I have lost weight and I am concentrating in my classes more than ever. I also realised with losing weight that I haven’t done exercise for months so once I start going to the gym and making a habit of that there are sure to be changes!  I need to start this week though otherwise I’ll be drinking before I know it.

There have been so many changes in my life since starting HSM that it is hard to know what difference no drinking has made. But I know that there have been a lot of changes – more than just the physical changes. Honestly I have learnt so much about myself. Doing HSM has given me the “excuse” not to drink and although it has had its down sides its given me time to make decisions about how I want to be. I’ve watched my friends and I’ve realised the best nights always end up being when you drink a enough just to relax and go with the flow but not to excess.  many times I have been out with my friends and they have vomited, gotten angry, been kicked or just not had fun when they had every excuse in the world (alcohol) to have the best time. It makes me question what is the point of drinking?  I always have the best time out but I would love to be able to have two drinks or so just to loosen up.  It’s been so interesting  experiencing going out and constantly being in situations where everyone is drinking but me has made me realise that you don’t have to drink to have fun because I’ve had some great nights out. What I’ve really noticed is that I really have no regrets from the last 2 months I haven’t blabbered out things that I shouldn’t, kissed people I wouldn’t usually, haven’t vomited, haven’t been kicked out or ended up in tears. But I have become so much more confident I don’t have the chance to get drunk to tell people how I feel or to give myself the courage to talk to people, or dance like an idiot… I’ve had to do it sober and I feel comfortable doing that now. Not drinking has made me get in touch with my feelings. I even know that if I had been drinking this past 2 months I would have said things to people that I didn’t even mean just because I didn’t have enough time to think about it. It’s become a pattern for me now that I have a thought in my head and I work it out for myself and decide what the best way to go around it is and then do that  rather than blabbering it all out when I’m drunk…it’s been so good!

I’ve also come to realise that if you don’t feel like going out…just don’t or don’t drink because that’s when you drink too much and bad things happen.  It’s also interesting to see the next morning the responses people have from the night… sometimes yes it is a great night but so many times the night is described as the best thing ever. I was there and I was sober…sure it was fun but a lot of the time they were too drunk to dance or even talk to anyone or else they said some embarrassing things or passed out, vomited or even farted in front of potential friends (I won’t mention names haha).  Somehow they manage to forget their night and convinced themselves it was the best things since sliced bread? A lot of the time there are just a list of regrets…and the comment I hear a lot is “I’ve got to stop drinking”. Just have to stop drinking so much. But easier said than done!!! I know…

I’ve been to two festivals since I’ve been not drinking and out a fair bit I have the best time. Recently I went to Parklife in Brisbane I was so tempted to do something…but I ended up spending the day COMPLETELY sober…no drinks, no drugs. I love the control that I had over myself I still got so caught up in the day felt as if I was on something (maybe the term high on life could be used haha). I didn’t have to wait for the drugs to kick in or wait in line for  hours to get one drink and I remembered the music J.

31 days left of not drinking… 31 days of gym and we’ll see how I feel.

I don’t miss the sick feeling

I don’t miss the hang over

I don’t miss not remembering my nightt

BUT I’m not feeling like I have more energy and I don’t feel that much healthier or that I’m loosing any weight? I just can’t see any difference right now….although according to my sister and mum my attitude and mood is better…really?

Its hard though at the same time I decided to start HSM SO many things changed in my life so I don’t know as I mentioned before maybe work has replaced alcohol.

School work has been interesting I do feel like I’ve been listening so much more in class (well im actually going this semester) at the same time I don’t seem to have as much urgency or as much motivation to do my assignments…I had three assignments and did them in three days and one night didn’t get to “bed” until 7 am. Rhys and I were talking about it its as thought because were not drinking we don’t get that scared feeling…”shit I shouldn’t have gone out last night ive got so much work to do” and then “powering” through that day its like im just cruising along but then still waiting until the night before.

I’m  about to go on holidays…feeling pretty positive! Conception day this Friday so excited….then driving up to Brisbane seeing some old friends and parklife

Im definitely sticking to the three months and I am really going to try and take advantage of it eg. Now I have there is a gym membership going to go as often as I can hopefully start seeing some changes!

I’m having thoughts (already) about going back to drinking Im a little scared. I don’t want to ever get to the stage that I was at before id really like to drink but just control the amount I do drink (impossible?) we’ll see when I get back into it.

I had a red bull (I hardly ever drink these) so I was fine until 6. I drank plenty of water. Danced, talked. Hung around had a REALLY good night!! It is strange telling people your not drinking and not having the excuse of “oh yeah..i’m driving” so the people I couldn’t be bother telling the whole story to I just told them I drove….they were just as happy . I can’t say that on Sunday I said hello to the morning but I didn’t have a headache, didn’t feel groggy. Just tired from lack of sleep.

I’m so happy that I went out because I was starting to feel like I hadn’t put myself in a situation of  a night club I almost felt like I was cheating it was easy to do what I had been doing…so I had decided that I would have a night out just without the drinking. It was great. You are a lot more aware of what is happening around you and what you are doing.

Not a drop of alcohol – I know that this doesn’t “count” but I figure what is the point of this? Just to see what life is like COMPLETELY without alcohol.

Its been two weeks today…I’m still happy not to be drinking but I feel like ive actually started to appreciate alcohol. I’ve never been a big spender on alcohol…goon has been pretty sufficient my whole life. But this week what I’ve realised is that I really miss or that I would like to try all different kinds of alcohol. I only just started working at a pub a week before HSM (good timing or what?) there are just so many different types of alcohol…definitely am starting a list of things to try.

I made a my first mojito the other day and I didn’t even test it…I had to get someone else at work to…little things like that.  I think im feeling healthier although I feel way to tired to do anything.  Maybe im working too much with uni aswell? I feel like they’re actually isn’t enough days in a week.

I feel it is a little annoying being the only sober person. It would be nice just to be able to have one or two drinks even…more as a social thing. But no its good.

These blogs are a little out dated but i thought it was worth putting them up

Week 1:

Its been a WHOLE week without alcohol.

I’m feeling pretty good. Thursday night I worked till about 4 am. Worked Friday from 12-9. Friday night I met up with my sister and her friend…we talked…and I drank sodas I had a good time talking to them. I think that if I had had a choice I wouldn’t have been drinking anyway. Although I think  I would have drank just because…I enjoyed the conversation with them and I felt like I could finish a sentence better than if I was drinking. Then afterwards I stayed up at the bar…where I work and stayed for work drinks….without the drinks. It was fine…I drove everyone home and I felt pretty good about that. Butt it is strange…in sort of a way in some respects by not drinking and everyone else is your almost breaking safety net…you’re going to be the one that remembers. I didn’t get to bed until 5 that night…so at least I know I can still stay awake without alcohol…but I did have a good time too…surprise surprise

I’ve learnt that staying awake till 5 whether drinking alcohol or not doesn’t change the tired feeling I had a quiet recovery day…not much school work done either. Sunday I did a little more school work and shopping (groceries) and then went out Sunday night to see a friend in manly. Went to watch a band play at Annandale…not drinking. Felt so good the next day hadn’t had too late of a night.

My vision for the 1st of November 2010: Looking and feeling healthier, with loads energy, with new experiences and with a pile of savings.

It’s official…as of 12:00am Monday morning the 9^th of August 2010 I will not have a drip of alcohol for 3 months.

I remember first reading the email regarding Hello Sunday Morning…

I thought it was such clever idea. Earlier this year I had watch a program about binge drinking in Australia and my friend and I sat there wondering…but what can you do?…what’s a “cool” way to get people to realise that you don’t have to get drunk to have fun?…and I guess I saw this as an answer.

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