Im Jaimee and im already in my 5th week of a 6 month Hello Sunday Morning.
Like most of the bloggers, my friends/ family are puzzled as to why I would voluntarily give up alcohol, especially as it’s the drug of choice in my peer group.
I have always been known for being a party girl, and I did pride myself on being able to control my behaviour – fun & tipsy, not mouthy & aggressive. I would pour scorn on girls that were too drunk, guys that fought in club lines and people passed out in corners. I didn’t walk home with my shoes off, cry in bathrooms, fight with an ex on the dance floor, swear at DJs, vomit on sidewalks or even fall asleep in taxis.
I could handle myself, and 9 times out of 10, was someone you could count on to make sure that you got home ok, with your shoes/purse and dignity – I could even tell you that, yes, that guy you met was proper cute, not just beer-goggle cute. I was someone who would receive a next morning apology sms, not send them. Alcohol and I had a good relationship – I had a good tipsy time, while staying level headed & in control.
Then, everything changed.
2009 was with out a doubt, the worst year of my life.
A toxic & turbulent relationship, huge financial strain, work pressures, health issues, and family troubles – were all major headlines. My life started to fall down around my ears, and I stuck my head in the sand, didn’t ask for help – and began to power through.
Looking back my motto became “If you’re going through hell – KEEP GOING!”
Im a very self sufficient, capable person, and as I struggled to keep a grip on my life, alcohol became an unhealthy escape, a sad coping mechanism. I didn’t really share with anyone the true extent of how badly things were going for me, to be honest, I thought I could handle it, but I was quickly overwhelmed, over-tired & over-drinking. Unfortunately, my poor heart couldn’t hold all of the hurt, sadness and anger in when I drank, and all the ugly feelings I was refusing to acknowledge, came pouring out when I had a drink.
Friday night drinks turned into Smashed by 6, lunch with the girls turned into How much can I drink in an hour, and wine while making dinner became Two bottles of wine / Passed out at 8.
Cue fighting with taxi drivers, hitting people with karaoke microphones, arguing with bar tenders, black-outs & hangover upon hangover upon hangover. Im too ashamed to document the other bad behaviour I exhibited last year, but believe me when I say, I wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Jerry Springer episode.
Some of the things that happened are beyond apology, and hedge into a long term of reparation.
Its 2010, and I don’t want to carry on like a pork chop anymore.
Id been thinking about stopping drinking, and getting things back in order for a few months, and I really identified with HSM.
I knew that I didn’t want to stop drinking forever.
What I do need, is a time out.
Sit on the bench for a while….
Id like to finish the 6 months looking forward to having a cold glass of bubbles for all the right reasons, fun, relaxation, friendship, sunshine and celebration.
It’s not going to be easy, in fact, ive already faced wheelbarrows full of opposition from friends, but im committed.

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