BLING AINT NO THANG (BY JAIMEE IRELAND)

One of my major goals during my 6 months HSM was to get control of my finances and live within my means.

To be fair, it wasn’t a goal at the very beginning – I honestly just looked forward to buying more shoes/dresses/hair products with the money I wouldn’t be spending on cocktails & tapas.

What I loved about my HSM experience is that it shone the light on parts of my life that I wouldn’t have associated with pints, pina coladas and a sneaky vino while cooking dinner.

If you’ve been playing along at home, you’ll know that there was a lot of shit going down in my life which I needed to change for me to be happy again.

Not even a fortnight into my HSM I found myself in the heartbreaking situation of having to leave a relationship gone bad.

With this sudden & necessary move-out, came the realisation that I had no-where to live.  As I rushed/stuffed & sweated my things out of our joint apartment, something significant dawned on me.

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COURTNEY BRINGS THE DRAMA (BY JAIMEE IRELAND)

Its one day until the end of my six month HSM, and I’ve been having a lot of mixed emotions about this momentous event.

For the past fortnight, Ive dwelled somewhere in-between gagging for a nice cold pint, to being wholly un-interested in imbibing – and not wanting celebrate at all.

Ive hurriedly organised a “Come and have my first drink with me” drinks.

This has now turned from a few BFFs, to many Ye olde drinking buddies – and my idea of having a Kiwi beer & a laugh, is looking more like Courtney Loves’21^st.

SO, Ive decided to postpone the end of my HSM until Friday the 3^rd of September.

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Naughty Water (By Jaimee Ireland)

3 (By JAIMEE IRELAND)

Today im half way -THREE whole months without drinking.

I must say im feeling very pleased, and slightly smug.

This whole process quickly became so much more than missing out on Friday night drinks, and Saturday morning facepalms.

If we time machined back to the week before I started, you’d find me exhausted and stuck and SO tired of myself.

Today, im celebrating.

Im celebrating all of the fears, arguments & scary situations Ive faced in the last 3 months.

Ive dealt with them head on, not by dancing on a table till 5 am.

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LETS GET PHYSICAL ( by Jaimee Ireland )

I’d like to tell you that going out is getting easier – so I will.

It is.

Sure, I generally spend the first 30 minutes moaning about how I feel like a vino, but then I get swept up in the actual event, and forget about it.

I don’t stand there, all sober, feeling like a massive banana anymore.

Thank fuck.

I love that I can get all dressed up, and return home in relatively the same manner.

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I BEFORE E – EXCEPT IN BUDWEISER (By Jaimee)

Temptation Ireland ( By Jaimee )

Friday night drinks, SO difficult.

I actually went as far as buying a pint (which is a total fail anyway, as I don’t really like beer ). Instead of drinking and drinking and drinking it – I looked at it, and looked at it some more & then I gave it away. I thought that 2 months into HSM, id be past wanting a sneaky beverage.

Not so.

Why was Friday night so hard? I was way out of my comfort zone. I felt awkward, and like I was trying too hard.

Another thing, how boring is it, sitting in a bar for hours, doing nothing? Pretty boring. It makes me think of all the wasted hours Ive spent, sitting around getting drunk.

Pointless, much?

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1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila… Ok, thats enough now. (by Jaimee )

Im Jaimee and im already in my 5^th week of a 6 month Hello Sunday Morning.

Like most of the bloggers, my friends/ family are puzzled as to why I would voluntarily give up alcohol, especially as it’s the drug of choice in my peer group.

I have always been known for being a party girl, and I did pride myself on being able to control my behaviour – fun & tipsy, not mouthy & aggressive. I would pour scorn on girls that were too drunk, guys that fought in club lines and people passed out in corners. I didn’t walk home with my shoes off, cry in bathrooms, fight with an ex on the dance floor, swear at DJs, vomit on sidewalks or even fall asleep in taxis.

I could handle myself, and 9 times out of 10, was someone you could count on to make sure that you got home ok, with your shoes/purse and dignity – I could even tell you that, yes, that guy you met was proper cute, not just beer-goggle cute. I was someone who would receive a next morning apology sms, not send them. Alcohol and I had a good relationship – I had a good tipsy time, while staying level headed & in control.

Then, everything changed.

2009 was with out a doubt, the worst year of my life.

A toxic & turbulent relationship, huge financial strain, work pressures, health issues, and family troubles – were all major headlines. My life started to fall down around my ears, and I stuck my head in the sand, didn’t ask for help – and began to power through.

Looking back my motto became “If you’re going through hell – KEEP GOING!”

Im a very self sufficient, capable person, and as I struggled to keep a grip on my life, alcohol became an unhealthy escape, a sad coping mechanism. I didn’t really share with anyone the true extent of how badly things were going for me, to be honest, I thought I could handle it, but I was quickly overwhelmed, over-tired & over-drinking. Unfortunately, my poor heart couldn’t hold all of the hurt, sadness and anger in when I drank, and all the ugly feelings I was refusing to acknowledge, came pouring out when I had a drink.

Friday night drinks turned into Smashed by 6, lunch with the girls turned into How much can I drink in an hour, and wine while making dinner became Two bottles of wine / Passed out at 8.

Cue fighting with taxi drivers, hitting people with karaoke microphones, arguing with bar tenders, black-outs & hangover upon hangover upon hangover. Im too ashamed to document the other bad behaviour I exhibited last year, but believe me when I say, I wouldn’t have looked out of place on a Jerry Springer episode.

Some of the things that happened are beyond apology, and hedge into a long term of reparation.

Its 2010, and I don’t want to carry on like a pork chop anymore.

Id been thinking about stopping drinking, and getting things back in order for a few months, and I really identified with HSM.

I knew that I didn’t want to stop drinking forever.

What I do need, is a time out.

Sit on the bench for a while….

Id like to finish the 6 months looking forward to having a cold glass of bubbles for all the right reasons, fun, relaxation, friendship, sunshine and celebration.

It’s not going to be easy, in fact, ive already faced wheelbarrows full of opposition from friends, but im committed.