Hello Hello! I’m Katherine, and this is my first Hello Sunday Morning blog!
I’d like to just take a few moments here to introduce myself, and give you a bit of insight into my world, and how being a part of Hello Sunday Morning is going to help shape my life in a more positive way.
I am 24 years old, a Uni student, and a stereotypical socialiser that relates to both these demographics. Truth be told, I am a total party girl.
I was born on the tropical island, Christmas Island off the coast of Perth, and I now live in Canberra, ACT. If you ask my Dad, he’ll tell you “I knew she was going to be tough, when she walked up to me at 2 years old and handed over her favourite blanket with the proclamation “I don’t need this anymore”” – He’d say this was a pivotal moment in my life, I’d say it’s a reflection of the type of person I am today.
ENTER SPORT:
From about 8, I started playing tee-ball, modball, and softball. I loved it. It was my life. While other girls at school were talking about hair, boys and makeup – I was rocking up to school dances with shorts and an Adidas t-shirt on. I wasn’t cool, I was a ‘sporto’ – which was basically the only reason I wasn’t hassled. I was my own person, with my Australian Olympic Softball player dreams, and an attitude to match. I lived, breathed, and slept softball. My motivation and dedication landed me in two Australian Merit teams, and a two year scholarship in Florida, USA to play softball for Manatee State College of Florida. Two of the best years of my entire life.
ENTER ALCOHOL:
My parents have always been the definitive wine connoisseurs and have taken great pride in educating their children in the joys of a full bodied Shiraz, or a crisp floral Sav Blanc. Always careful to warn the effects of over indulgence of alcohol, you could say I grew up in a household that was discerning in enjoying the pleasant taste of alcohol, and not the over-consumption.
I’m not sure exactly when my immense joy of ingesting copious amounts of booze started, but if my track record is anything to go by, my binge has been for occurring for years! It actually shocks me to write that.
From simple celebrations such as birthdays, to Christmas, to New Years, to ‘just for the hell of it’ nights, I always managed to wind up the next day with a killer hangover and a memory that was not dissimilar to that of a 90 year old woman.
I can’t even count the amount of people I’ve lost as friends, or relationships I’ve damaged all due to alcohol. It’s embarrassing. It’s shameful. It’s not the person I am in ‘Sober Land’. But I think that’s precisely why I binge. The elated confidence, the power that comes with that, combined with my leadership personality, I’m lethal.
Prior to 2010, I can’t actually remember the last time I went out dancing, or out to the city, sober. I don’t have enough fingers or toes to count the amount of times I’ve told myself to only have one or two drinks, and ended up at 15, gyrating on the dance floor with an equally inebriated partner. I’m embarrassed to write this, yet I know at the time I would have felt Queen of the court.
ENTER HSM CHALLENGE:
I am an outer layer of façade, with an inner component of normalcy. As a mid-twenties woman, with emotional baggage to boot, my biggest asset is my self preservation which comes hand in hand with my innate ability to not deal… with anything. Denial is a powerful thing. In a moment of truth, and private self honesty, I came to the conclusion in October 2009 that I had not achieved any of the goals, or dreams I had set out for myself in the last three years. The disappointment that I had ignored for so long was paramount. It was time to change. The mornings of waking up with a hangover that could actually murder a brain, needed to end. The days of having 16 hour binges and spending an entire week recovering, being in total Depressed-ville, only to be a repeat offender the next weekend, were over.
No one thought I could do it. Not even my some of my best mates. “I’d pay to see that”, “No chance, Fail” just some of the common responses. It shocked me that my party and alcohol attitude was so ingrained in my friendship circle, that my reputation preceded me, but these responses only motivated me more to prove everyone wrong. Did I mention, I love a challenge? I’ve taken my friends and family up on their ‘I’d pay to see that’ offer, and all their money, (when I’ve finished the challenge), will go to Camp Quality, to help raise money for kids with Cancer.
Through six degrees of separation, someone somewhere knew someone in HSM, who happened to know someone who wrote an article about my Sober Challenge for 2010 in the Canberra Times newspaper. It’s through this avenue that I now find myself on a journey that I can already tell will be one that is of great personal growth.
It’s been two weeks in, and I have a long road of soul searching and self motivating. If I achieve nothing this year other than the challenge of course, but to improve my self belief, self esteem, and dedication, then I am already leagues ahead of where I’ve been for the last 3 years.
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear”
Stay tuned,
Katherine
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