On the flip side, I think that by participating in HSM, I have actually become a lot more aware (and subsequently more critical) of everyone else’s behaviours, beliefs and attitudes towards drinking, as opposed to reflecting upon my own. Primarily because I confronted my own issues etc years ago.

People have such varied reactions when you drop the “I’m not drinking” bomb. Some people are rendered speechless; some people look at you like they’ve heard an alien language and some become very animated. One of the most common, and surprising reactions I have received is “Oh my God – are you pregnant?!”.  Clearly this is only assumed by women, I’m yet to have a man ask that of me. Now, honestly- when I am at a function/event/dinner and a girl mentions that she is not drinking, my first reaction is definitely NOT to assume that she is with child. Why would I? So a woman is not drinking? Big deal? A man is not drinking? Big deal. That’s their business… why should I need to delve into the reasons behind it?

Other reactions included;  “What the hell would you do that for? You’re crazy/an idiot. Drinking is awesome!” “How can you not want to drink?” or “What are you going to do now?” or “It’s un-Australian to not drink” or “haha- have fun with that! I’ll have drinks for you”. These reactions mostly displayed by pre-excessive drinking acquaintances.  Mostly, given by people who still wanted to go out and get drunk every weekend. It’s a little scary when someone questions your patriotism (and sanity) because you decide to stop drinking.

When and how did we become a culture that finds it acceptable to condemn those who make a personal choice (ie give up alcohol)?

Glamorous, no?

What are the benefits of excessive drinking anyway? You gain unrealistic confidence (no need to go further, has been explored by loads of others on HSM), act like a fool, spend too much money, kill off brain cells, lose a day of the weekend… need i go on? Why do we glorify binge drinking? Is it really that glamorous? Cool? Attractive ? Seriously – I can think of nothing more un-attractive than a drunk? The smudged make-up, stumbling, swaggering, swearing, inappropriate commentry and behaviour – are not exactly the epitome of ‘glamour’. People are such interesting characters. We are all so different in so many ways, yet often exactly the same in others. I suppose some of the old theorists were on to something when they said that humans just want to belong (Maslow, Freud). Yearning to belong, fit in, popularity, conformity - sad that these seem to be reasons for drinking. I could go on all day… but i won’t – definately food for thought, and another blog post… definatley a little sooner than in 3 months time.

I’m Samantha – I’m in my mid-twenties, live in Brisbane, work in Human Resources, and this is my first HSM post.

To be completely honest – I am not what you would refer to as a ‘big’ drinker. I drink on occasion and hardly ever in excess. I don’t enjoy it – I don’t like being drunk. I hate the feeling of being out of control; of feeling ill; of making a fool out of myself; the amount of money spent and feeling as though you might just die the next morning.
In saying that though- I do love an ice-cold beer on a scorching summer’s day, at a bbq or in the afternoon at a little lounge bar. I enjoy indulging in a glass or two of good red wine with a meal. All up, on average I would consume perhaps two or three glasses (or equivalent) of alcohol per week. I’m certainly no saint – I admit that I overdo it from time to time, but rarely. The attitude I have had towards alcohol & drinking over the last six or so years is very different to what it was in my final year of school and first year of university.

I think in order for me to embark upon and succeed with my HSM journey – I need to share the experiences that have shaped my attitude to alcohol as it stands today. So here goes.

I went to an all girl’s boarding school in Armidale, NSW – and boy-oh-boy did we have some wild parties. All-girls boarding schools are an environment unto their own.  Everyone feels the need to fit in, to be accepted – to be in the ‘cool’ crowd. This often meant doing things that you would normally have an aversion to, simply because everyone else was doing it. I had low self esteem, so I was definitely no exception. I wanted to do what everyone else was doing, so I fitted in.  All those rules, regulations, bells and authority mixed with raging teenage hormones can prove an interesting mixture to say the least.. Once you let us loose at a party in a paddock, away from the supervision of adults, and throw in boys and a copious amount of alcohol – things could get a little crazy. Everyone was insanely intoxicated; constantly competing with one another to attract the cutest member of the opposite sex, seeing who could drink the most, do the craziest stunt, and tell the best story… the list is endless. These wild parties were often followed by girls filing onto one bus, boys on to the other, nursing aching heads, upset bellies and damaged egos.

This didn’t really change for me until a year or so after I left school. I got drunk to fit in, to be like everyone else. The locations, people and situations changed – but the ‘getting my drunk on’ attitude did not, until one night a few weeks after my 18th birthday. It was a Saturday night and I had just finished work – the plan was to drink at a friend’s house before heading into Surfer’s Paradise to drink some more. On the way, I stopped at the liquor store to pick up my refreshments for the evening – very pleased to find a 750ml bottle of Smirnoff for half price. I arrived at my friend’s house where the festivities began. We proceeded to play the drinking game King’s Cup until a noise complaint motivated us to head into Surfers. (For those that don’t know, it’s a card game whereby receiving the king card you have to pour the rest of your drink into a communal cup, and the person to draw the last king had to drink the entire cup.) By this point, I was pretty loose. I’d polished off around half of my bottle of Smirnoff (375ml) and consumed 3 king’s cups. At some point between leaving the unit and putting my belongings into my car (total around 5m)– I decided that leaving the rest of the bottle of vodka for another time was a complete waste of my money; so I sculled it. Yes you read correctly, I sculled half a bottle of vodka, straight – taking my total consumption of alcohol for the evening to 750ml vodka and goodness knows how much other alcohol that made up the King’s cups. I didn’t even make it into Surfers. I don’t think we had made it two blocks when I passed out in a park. I proceeded to lapse in and out of consciousness and started having severe convulsions, among other things. Ambulance was called, and I was taken to hospital where my stomach was pumped. Classy, no? I woke up the following morning feeling like I was dying. I could barely remember the evening’s events- but the parts I could remember were enough. I was in complete agony, and it wasn’t only my body that was damaged – my pride and ego were damaged beyond recognition. I was confused, angry, upset and sick. It was at that point that I decided alcohol and I were not friends.  At the time, I never really questioned the reasoning behind my decision to cut back, I just did it. I didn’t cut back completely- there were times I would go out and over-do it, but never to that point.

I’m actually really interested in delving into my psyche to further understand my attitudes etc towards drinking. I suppose that is one of the reason’s I am partaking in Hello Sunday Morning. While I no longer binge drink and my attitude towards it is different to that of 7 years ago – I think I still have a lot to learn about myself.

So, to cut a babbling story short (since writing this blog, I have discovered that I actually have a lot to say on the topic of drinking) – this is what I will achieve with my HSM:
- Overall health and wellbeing
- To learn a lot about myself, and to grow
- To meet new people
- To push my comfort zone
- To learn a lot more about the things that shape my own attitude, mentality and behaviours associated with alcohol.

This is an epic blog- so I’m over and out… until next time!

Thanks for sharing  my journey and supporting HSM.
If you want to have a peek at how I’m going; check out my or facebook or twitter.

S. xx