I’m about half way through my three months without drinking and to be honest the biggest lesson I’ve learnt through  this experience is being the DD sucks! I don’t mind giving people lifts especially when it’s my friends and they’re throwing in a gold coin donation and I’m usually heading the same way anyways, plus I know a heap of them would do the same for me. So when I think about being taxi in that kind of sense its easy to say yes but after awhile the three am phone calls, mess in my car, spilt drinks, and continously risking my license to over load (only allowed one passenger in the car after 11pm when on red P’s) I’m starting not to bother going out all together.

The first thing I noticed when I stopped drinking was the reactions, the next thing was the increased phone calls from friends (who were drinking) since word of the local driver got out. Even though I was the newest cab service in town I didn’t mind because it gave me a chance to talk to friends and go places and it was pretty fun but now I think completely different:Being sober and having fun is one thing but being sober with a license and having fun is another. I stopped having as much fun when I went out clubbing minus the alcohol not because of the not drinking/no confidence/no fun thing but because I had to sit in the car forever while people decided where they wanted to go and who was going where blah blah blah, basically I started to miss out on the dancing and fun while I drove others to go and have fun. Even on the rare occassion where I didn’t have to drive in between night clubs and could just enjoy myself at the one pub/club someone would be feeling sick or another couple had just had a fight so I had to do yet another trip and miss out yet again.

Last weekend and this weekend though my plans have changed, I’ve found myself an amazing series of books (House of Night) that I can’t put down so I’ve spent my whole weekend pretty much indoors. I’ve been raving on about how much I love these books to my friends and a few of them just laugh and call me a dork which I admit is totally me but some others have been adding something on the lines of ‘yeah if I wasn’t drinking I wouldn’t know what to do with myself either, I’d probably read too.’ ARGH! How frastrating!? The whole point of not drinking was to show people I could have fun without alcohol and I am still having fun just on a more nerdy scale. So I guess the whole point I’m trying to get accross is that it doesn’t matter if your having a night in or out, if your having a night with friends or without, if your having a night with or without alcohol, do what you believe is fun, not what others percieve to be fun!

So many people believe that you need to be wasted to have any sort of confidence, which is complete crap! I’ve always thought of confidence and alcohol on different levels. Confidence to me is that little extra bit of encouragement you get when you get changed into that stunning outfit, the little wiggle your bum does as you strut and the glow you have from smiling because you actually feel good about yourself.

On the other hand alcohol to me is supposed to be this casual drink you have to socialise with friends and family but so many people completely abuse this ‘casual’ drink because they believe they will become more confident therefore do more crazy things and have a more enjoyable night.I’ve had many of these night’s were I would abuse the social drink as well but I think I’ve had an epiphany…

Before my Hsm I would drink with all my girlfriends as we decided what dress, shoes etc to wear and slowly got ready while the music played. Now that I’m not drinking but still doing that whole little routine I’ve realised that the routine is what makes me feel good about myself not the actually drinks; getting into that red dress, having laughs while my hair is getting done and doing my girlfriends make up before heading to the pub to see British India is an amazing night to be remembered and actually can be remembered because I was sober! Even if I’m just helping my girlfriends get ready for a big night out, I’m happy and feeling good because it’s the laughs, songs, dancing with my friends and what not that is fun not the vodka sunrise that used to be in my hand.

I have to admit though it is easier said then done. On Saturday I got ready with all my guy mates which was still fun but I missed out on my routine with the girlfriends and was feeling more reserved to what I normally am because I now have to wear smelly sneakers instead of my gorgeous high heels due to the previous night’s foot crushing at British India. On top of not being able to wear my stunning heels my hair was doing everything but what I wanted it to do (basically I was having a girly night were nothing was working out for me).

By the time I got to the club I wasn’t in much of a mood to be dancing like I normally do.  When my girlfriends finally got to the club (hours later) I decided to pull my self out of my bad mood and went and had a boogie with them on the dance floor. I finally realised as I was leaving that I don’t need alcohol or a silly ritual to have fun or confidence, I just need my friends.

The saying ‘forgive and forget’ is a simple and beautiful rule to overlook mistakes (that usually everyone makes). I believe in this little quote as I believe we shouldn’t continue to live the regrets from the occassional lapse in judgement we have…

A sober observation that I have made so far is that all of us do really silly things when we are drunk (duh!). I have done many of these silly things like everyone else and it is the next day that the regrets and hangover kick in. The fight that never should of started, the stupid joke that has now blown up into a big deal, etc.

The apologises and understanding you have with your friends the couple of days after is where I think this line ‘forgive and forget’ comes into play. Why keep having the say arguement with the people you love? Forgiving and forgetting in my opinion is really the best way to move on from things but some people are skipping this little step all together, they already have the excuse; but s/he was drunk.

I think too many people are ready to shrug off their slip up as long as there is a good reason and alcohol is becoming a good enough reason. Too many people are ready to forget their mistake and not earn the forgiveness by the person they have hurt (usually someone they love most).

I’ve read over this blog about a million times now and every time I do read it I think about how heavy I’m sounding. I don’t want to come accross as the heartless blogger who can’t forgive someone for a simple mess up but the reason why I am writing this is because some mistakes you can learn from others and this is a common thing I have noticed now that I have taken off my beer goggles, alcohol is not an excuse; The choice to drink is your choice, so the consequences of drinking are that of yours too.

Hey my name is Zara (Hawley-Hales) and I have just recently joined HSM.

It has taken me nearly a week to sort out all this online stuff since I haven’t had internet due to moving recently. So sorry for the delay on my first post but here it is…

I have this gorgeous wooden box my parents brought me when I was younger which has some baby clothes, photos, school report cards and every other keepsake inside it you can imagine, on top of this box are a few of my many billion photo albums… Anyone who knows me well enough understands how much I adore my photos.

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