To be honest I've been a heavy drinker with a great capacity to drink for four of the five years I've been out of high school. This last year my drinking has subsided and I'm now living alone which really helps, i've had about 6 or 7 big blow out drinking sessions this year, a couple climaxing in me getting quite aggressive. Though this has been the best year I've had out of all of them, fights, last person at the bar, first name status with all the bar staff who know my drink and pour it before I'm at the bar. This was me in a larger city centre. I'm not proud of who I became, I see now i was upset about a lot of things, and my family had always drank to cope so i thought this was normal. It was my fall from grace, I excelled through year 12, second for Dux, top in all my subjects and so on. And here I am at the back end of a half decade of drinking myself almost into an early grave thanks to a physiological capacity, an alcoholic upbringing, and one super intense relationship (with another heavy drinker) gone bad. Now I am getting on track and for the last 2 months have barely drunk at all. But I'm ready to make it a permanent and conscious change. It makes me anxious to declare not drinking as I'm prone to recoiling back in protest - like people who go on a diet so they go buy a bar of chocolate 'because they wont start till monday'. This year, after many, I don't care if xmas is around the corner. There's always a reason to drink. Finding this site has been great, not sure how much I'll post but it will be an essential part I'm sure to me sticking to my goal of permanent change to be a better version of myself. Looking forward to being involved and apart of a necessary social change in this country.