I feel good!
20/05/12 • 13 Comments

Good morning! All week I’ve been looking forward to last night because my very good friend was having a big 30th birthday fancy dress dinner in the city. Dinner was a set price for three courses and it included drinks – red and white and bubbly wine continually replenished to the table, and I saw some ordering beers which were also included. Interesting to note that this place didn’t have bottles/jugs of water on the tables. I managed to flag someone down throughout the night for my non-alc drinks: lime and soda first, then I was sensible to ask for a bottle of sparkling mineral water so I wouldnt have to ask again for a while! Then a coke. (haven’t had one of them in a while, not a big fan!) ANYWAY, it was fancy dress, it was singalongs and silliness and I had a great time. I only knew [...]

Excited!
17/05/12 • 6 Comments

Feeling good and the blip from Saturday? Not even thinking about it. The potential flu from earlier in the week eased off and I’m on the up and up! Started re-reading some positive stuff last night about affirmations and such, and decided to try just thinking of myself as a non-drinker. I love the idea of being a non drinker and my personal experiences prove that I’m happier when I don’t drink – but I’m not going to ditch HSM. I think I need it for support and extra motivation in these early stages. I’m going to try to not think about the number of days too often, though. Because I’m not planning on drinking again… So I’ll just focus on the present and on getting things done. So motivated right now as well because I’ve finally decided to bite the bullet and start applying for new jobs. I’m not [...]

Bleurgh but determined to stay positive
15/05/12 • 3 Comments

Just a quick post today. I\’m feeling EXHAUSTED and like I\’m coming down with something (glands are up a bit, throat is sore, i just want to sleep) – so a huge difference to yesterday. Last night I was still feeling bright and bouncy. Went for a great long walk with my new housemate, in the cool night air. We walked and talked for over an hour. Was great! Well, the flesh may be weak but the spirit is still willing… Super tired today but feeling positive underneath all the bleurgh. No desire to drink. In fact, I just keep thinking about the strength and positivity that I can\’t wait to feel again. Sleepily looking forward to feeling as good as Leticia and Blondie and Claire. Enjoy your day, everyone.

Supercharged Monday
14/05/12 • 6 Comments

Once upon a time I would have beaten myself up for ‘falling off the wagon’ partway through an HSM challenge. Getting down about it would make me feel more discouraged and unsure of my ability to change, and so I’d convince myself to quit HSM and just continue to be a regular drinker. After all, as the years have gone on, my drinking habits have improved. I don’t get into anywhere near the kind of trouble I used to. The hangovers aren’t so frequent, the self-loathing not so accute. Well, something must be rubbing off, because I AM being kinder to myself these days. I know that my little ‘blip’ on Saturday didn’t ‘completely ruin’ the previous two weeks of HSM. It really was just a down mood, a negative frame of mind, and a couple of glasses of wine. I felt suitably foggy and tired yesterday, did a lot [...]

Time
13/05/12 • 5 Comments

I bought Allen Carr’s ‘The Easy Way to Control Acohol’ in 2005. I knew I had a problem with drinking, though to most I seemed just a social, happy drinker. I wasn’t different to the others I spent time with. But I knew deep down that something was wrong. I drank to escape my desperate unhappiness in life, my disappointment with myself – which only increased with every hungover regret. I bought that book about seven years ago. SEVEN YEARS, people!!! Since then I’ve tried to quit drinking a number of times but always gone back to it. The longest stretch of no drinking was for 12 weeks or so, when I lived in London. I’ve always let myself be convinced that ‘normal drinking’ should be the aim. And yet every time I re-read Carr’s book I know I want to be completely free. As long as alcohol is in [...]