The morning after….
27/06/11 • 5 Comments

The morning after \’the decision\’….to start HSM for three months. I feel good, I feel strong. (Although the temptation to drink between now at 10:30pm on a Monday night was minimal ) But I also woke up rattling off a long list of upcoming events during which my \’not drinking\’ mettle will be tested. A girls\’ weekend away to the country, my friend\’s birthday (which is ALWAYS a good excuse for a piss up until the sun comes up – actually that is one of those situations where that is the goal really), my 34th birthday in August…just to mention a few. But I feel kinda excited about facing these events in a new way, with a new approach. Not being the victim. Not feeling like \’I had no choice\’ but to drink, but finding a new path, a new way through these situations. Thanks for your support – the [...]

From little things, big things grow…
27/06/11 • 6 Comments

So that’s it. I’ve gone and done it. I’ve signed up to something that I really believe in. Well, let’s rephrase that – something that a part of me really believes in. There’s another part of me, a scared little part of me, the hand inside the puppet, that is absolutely terrified by this decision. What will happen to that me? What will happen when that me can’t just wipe it all out with booze and drunken laughs about nothing and blank spaces where a memory should be? What will happen when all the days are the same, when Friday nights are not signalled by the alcohol-driven release, and Saturday mornings are not greeted with the guilt and the nausea and the headache and the dry, smokey mouth? I don’t know the answers to these questions. Which is exactly why I have gone and done it. Just like an explorer. [...]