I can\’t abstain from abstaining
16/09/11 • 3 Comments

Well, after a long abstinence, no, not from alcohol but from hsm, I have returned.  Felt so good when I wasn\’t drinking, but thought I\’d just drink occasionally and had broken habit of drinking too much too often so jumped off hsm early at a month in.   2 months later (actually would have finished about today) have decided to return and go alcohol free again for a period of time – a month minimum but yet to be determined.  My body really responded last time to alcohol free existence and my mind was clear, I felt positive and nothing seemed difficult.  But most of you who have been on hsm for a substantial amount of time already have reaped those benefits.   Anyway, like I said, here I am, again, and looking forward to what I see as Stage 2 of my staggered hsm experience.   sara

Off the slippery slope and back on track
27/07/11 • 0 Comments

Feeling like I’m back on track after slip-up on Sunday.  Looking forward to a sober uni semester – the first in over 6 years.  I wonder how it will be reflected in my academic performance – surely well?   Anyway, over the guilt and just accepting where I’m at right now which is in a good place.   hello again, hello sunday morning.

whining about wining
25/07/11 • 2 Comments

This is definitely not a fun blog to post but I\’m doing it anyway.   I actually relapsed on Sunday and drank some wine so now I am starting my official 3 months from yesterday.  The weird thing is I managed two social outings with family without drinking on the weekend, but found it so stressful that as soon as I got home I went for some wine, and some more etc…I thought, well I\’ve done it now I might as well drink my fill.  I felt awful after a couple of hours, really disappointed in myself because up until that point I was doing so well, feeling great and right on track to start uni this week.  Ended up drinking too much, did my habitual ringing around to share my woes (which always seem so intense to me when drunk) and basically fell into old negative drinking experience.  bugger! [...]

OVER ANOTHER HUMP -wk 3
21/07/11 • 2 Comments

Well, after some maundering thoughts in last couple of days and some really early starts (seems like my de-toxed body only needs 6 hrs sleep instead of usual 8), am back on top and feeling fantastic.   I was starting to feel ambivalent about not drinking as was so easy and had hit an emotional plateau.  glad I carried on though because today felt a real buzz again, with the ease of getting things done, and enjoying the process, smelling the roses so to speak, on the journey rather than the destination.  Yes, cliche after ch\liche after cliche.   But really, my energy level is so high and I am so organised and on top of things in my life it’s almost scary.  I mean, who am I.  But I am remembering that this is who I was before I started drinking to excess and realised I was missing out [...]

bored and restless?
19/07/11 • 3 Comments

Well, last couple of days have gone from constantly elated to slightly bored and restless – even started to think about quitting the program after the end of this month.  However, this will thwart my intention of resetting my neurological pathways and probably lead me back into old abuse of alcohol so really want to stay the course until October.   Don’t have any real reason to drink as content with my life, no current stresses, no peer pressure (just a few supportive friends), and have a beautiful 8 year old daughter who loves me to death.   I am maintaining my weight, although have started to eat more, properly that is, am not suffering any adverse physical affects from not drinking, and only have positives such as more energy, drive and pride in my choice to improve my life..  However, seem to have hit plateau with mood, which is [...]