The End Hath Cometh… and Goneth
02/05/11 • 3 Comments

A royal wedding; some fairly gigantic international news and the END of my HSM… quite the weekend. … pity, however, I managed to GET SICK and STILL haven\’t been able to celebrate the end of my first HSM (and I say first pointedly). So I\’m actually in golden time right now… still considering WHEN to actually have that first beverage.So, as far as anti-climaxes come – I\’m tagging these past few days as mega-number-one. I think, though, this has highlighted a massive change in the way I interact with the booze monster.Before it would have been: \”It\’s all good – I\’ll just drink away the vomiting, diarrhoea and head cold! ROCK ON FORTH MY FRIENDS… we MUST celebrate the end of this trial!\” … but as we see, definitely no longer the case. I\’ve gotten all-too-good at the whole: \”Nein, won\’t be drinking tonight team. Going to spend a night [...]

COUNTDOWN (by Cameron McRae)
22/04/11 • 1 Comment

I’m now in the final 7 days of my first HSM… and for some reason, I can’t sleep.Among other things, I have the past 3 months weighing on my mind… and I’m wondering, “What did I really learn about myself doing this HSM?” So, it was definitely confirmed… I don’t need booze in my life to make it interesting. Everyone says it, but now I know it’s no bullshit.I’m probably in the most productive position I’ve been in for a long time – but the issue remains: I still feel like one of the most unproductive people in existence… and the feeling’s growing stronger. What I didn’t expect to unearth doing a HSM, was the extent to which I had withdrawn from the person I USED to be. I mentioned in my last post ages ago that 2010 featured some pretty confusing upheaval… what I knew (but hadn’t really addressed), [...]

TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN… BEING SOBER. (By Cameron McRae)
27/02/11 • 1 Comment

Another week, another 7 days of avoiding the sauce. This has honestly been the first week to test my resolve in doing HSM… no real reason for it, other than that I’ve just REALLY wanted a beer. Everyday. Just ONE Pale Ale of any reputable quality to wind down from what has been a week of rewarding, albeit hectic, weekdays. Instead, it’s spurred me on… (in some deluded way) and helped me to finally identify that I do indeed have some deep seeded desire to choke down a regular drink or two, or three. Until now, I’d been pretty cavalier about this whole HSM venture – “I haven’t even felt like having a single drink…I’m fine.” he said, ignorant to what fate had instore. One thing I’ve tried to tackle this past day or so has been my near non-existant goal scoring of late. I just assumed that when I [...]

THE GREATEST HERO OF THEM ALL (by Cameron McRae)
21/02/11 • 1 Comment

So, as of today, I’m already on the 21st day of my 3-month HSM spell… making my very first post. Poor form. Cam. Why HSM? For whatever reason, it felt like I spent 2010 lost in a haze of self doubt, isolation and not-getting-anywhere-ed-ness. The main problem though, was no matter how hard I tried to rationalise it, I couldn’t pinpoint the reason why I felt the way I was feeling. Nothing tragic happened… no one was lost and no one was hurt. But, for the good part of last year, it basically felt like I wasn’t here… like I had locked myself out of the cockpit with the plane left on autopilot. In turbulence. Also low on snacks. Then, along came 2011… where, without me even realising, shit feels real again. All of a sudden, things have shifted. I even started the year telling my mates, “I have this [...]