Im Back
12/04/12 • 1 Comment

Well im back for another stint. HSM really helped me get the ball rolling last time so I was actually able to do 5 months of no drinking, no smoking. So here I am again ready to do it again. Summer is slowy dwindling away and along with it the BBQ\’s, beers & ciggies. I am aiming for 6 months minimum this time. Wish me luck…:-)

Medicine
12/05/11 • 1 Comment

I use to say that i never got sick with the flu because of all the rum i drank. The idea being that the alcohol killed all the germs. The week after i gave up drinking I got sick didn’t i. And I’ve been suffering from a terrible cold for the last 3 weeks. I had a really strong craving for a rum the other day somehow thinking this would cure me of my illness. HaHa I’m an idiot. I also use to say that it was all of the preservatives in beer that keep me looking so young. I think I’ve said that so much that i actually started beleiving it. And now with a cold making me feel like i’m closer to death, there seems to be some ring of truth to it. But, i’m still going strong, more determined than ever to stay on the wagon. And [...]

Empowered
02/05/11 • 1 Comment

Wow i’ve been busy. I haven’t written a blog in ages. I hope no-one thought I had fallen off the wagon and was to scared to admit it. No, it’s more like the complete opposite I am happy to report. I have been flat out busy with work and then in my spare time I have been making plans to spend my earnings. Easter was crazy for me, doing a couple of 60 hour weeks. Thats all settled down for me now, but ahead, starting today, I’m doing 7 days at my main job, holding the fort for my boss who is going on holidays. It’s a really good feeling to have someone know they can rely on you. I never was a very reliable person in the past. So I am looking forward to the fansastic bonus I have been promised at the end of the month and I have booked [...]

More work = more pay
18/04/11 • 2 Comments

I work for a lovely lady who breeds Bengal cats. I am her only employee and she is very flexible with my work hours. If i need the hours there is always things i can do. She says just work as much as you want. And if i don’t really feel like doing anything, then i get what needs to be done and i can go home. The problem use to be that i would wake up feeling a little bit crapy as usual and get to work and only do what needs to be done. I was pushing 20 hours a week at max. This last week that i haven’t been drinking, i have been going to work with heaps more energy. I see things that could be done and just do them. I work all day and only stop for lunch when my stomach insists. I have done [...]

Dreams
17/04/11 • 3 Comments

I had another one of those dreams where i failed and went out and got drunk. The first one i woke up with a horrible feeling of self-loathing. This time I dreamt that I lied to everyone the next day. I didn’t feel very good when i woke up. I still don’t. Maybe I need to reflect on all the times in my past when i have lied to friends and family about my drinking. Is there a part of the process where i need to own up and say sorry to the people i have lied to? I hate this feeling of guilt i keep waking up with. What can i do to make it go away?