random thoughts on life, death, friendship and other stuff
10/03/12 • 1 Comment

I am still here and doing ok. A lot has been on my mind. In 3 days time it will be a year since a dear friend died. A friend for over 20 years. A friend who had survived liver cancer before I met him as surgeons were able to operate and remove the cancer along with part of the liver. For some, this would have led to a life of taking care of the body and being aware of having a second chance. Yet for my friend at some point in his life alcohol took hold and he became a fully fledged paid up member of the alcoholic club. One minute you are regularly enjoying social drinks with friends, the next minute you are physically as well as emotionally dependent on the drink. My friend tried various treatment programmes but never managed to stay of the booze for any longer than a few months. [...]

confessions are suppossed to be good for the soul
24/02/12 • 3 Comments

Well, I have been thinking of this site all week and wondering how to admit in my blog that I blew it last Friday. That may sound strange since this is a somewhat anonymous web site where it should be easy to be honest but its hard to admit that I let myself down.It was the classic end of the work week scenario. The excuses came out and I followed my old pattern of thinking I will just have a glass of wine before dinner but not stopping until the bottle was empty.  So thats my confessions done with. The good news in all of this was that after three weeks of not drinking and then hitting the bottle again I noticed that morning after feeling of having to drag myself out of bed and dragging through most of the day. I mean really noticed it as this was no longer the norm for a Saturday [...]

Week one down, 11 to go… and what I have learned so far
05/02/12 • 3 Comments

Its been a  week since I had a drink. This has been the first weekend since the Christmas holidays where I havent had a bottle of wine. I am more excited about making it through the weekend than the fact its been 7 days. I even had one meal out at a relatives house and was offered a glass of wine but said no. Easy when I am motivated and starting out with this challenge. I will see how it goes as time progresses. What I have learned so far is that I am a little self obcessed.   I read other blogs on this site and have to stop myself from making “me too”,  ”I did this, I did that ” or “my problem was..” types of comments. Too many I’s in the picture, Your blogs are about you and your journey, not me chipping in with my story in your space. I can do that on my [...]

Why im here
04/02/12 • 3 Comments

Well, its Satuday afternoon. By now I would normally be heading to the supermarket to get another bottle of wine after drinking one last night. I dont drink through the week – its a weekend thing. Tempting… but as my profile states I have set myself another challenge to complete my doctoral degree. I need to have a clear head on the weekends to work on this every minute i can in between the usual stuff that must be done, like chores and walking the dogs. I dont have a ‘drinking problem’, as in its no problem to drink on the weekends. I have a ‘not drinking problem’ as the habit is there. I need to change the habit and develop new habits. Do something different in the later afternoon and evening when I would usually be sitting with a glass of wine, then another and another,. I also need to [...]