Day 61: I am torn
23/05/12 • 1 Comment

A couple of things today have made me think about the role of alcohol in my future. Firstly, I am worried that alcohol still has an immense power over me that I had hoped would have subsided by now. Not so much in the form of cravings, but as a go-to solution for almost anything. I had a really awful day at work today, working with a person who made me feel like everything I did was wrong (she does this with everyone). By 0830 she had criticised and rolled her eyes at at least 5 things I had set up for the procedure we were doing. And the day basically continued like that till 1600 home time. Everyone else was really good and had my back because they know what she’s like but it was still hard. And all day I had alcohol on my mind (not cravings, just [...]

Day 60: Straight to bed
22/05/12 • 3 Comments

Have just got home from work after doing another 3 & 1/2 hours overtime because we were short-staffed again. Had all my gym gear in the car ready to go on the way home, but it wasn’t to be. And the gym had an Open Day tomorrow, so I’m not going anywhere near it! Takeaways on the way home again and into bed. I need to sort my life out a bit better because I have gained, not lost weight since being on HSM. But it will have to wait till tomorrow. Cozy bed and book are calling. PS… Day 60! Woohoo! 2/3 of the way to my 90 day goal!

Day 59: Long day
21/05/12 • 4 Comments

Started work early and finished late today. Grabbed takeaways on the way home and now feel bloated and yuck. Am going to bed early to trawl through Amazon’s kindle books to find a cure to being lazy, unmotivated, and unhealthy… Night all.

Day 58: Where did the weekend go?
20/05/12 • 0 Comments

Somehow I have become less productive as a non-drinker than I was as a drinker! I have just wished a whole weekend away achieving practically nothing! Must do better… In the meantime, back to work tomorrow. Only one month left of anaesthetics, then I head back to Recovery for 6 weeks of night shift… and I think I’m unproductive now! Wait until I’m a month into night-shift… But it’s not usually so busy at night, so hopefully a perfect opportunity to do lots of study. Have a good week everyone. Make the most of it. I’m going to kick myself in the butt and try to.

Day 57: Lazy days
19/05/12 • 3 Comments

I have just had a lovely, lazy Saturday. Interestingly, I haven’t craved any actual alcohol, but I have been craving yummy drinks in my wine glass. It hasn’t mattered to me that there is no alcohol in them. I suppose I just want that ritual. Had to laugh at myself though. A friend texted and said she had to bring one of her daughters down to this end of town tonight and did I want to go somewhere for dinner? I started to count how many drinks I’d had to see if I could still drive! My cravings had been so well quenched by my Soul Virgin and Lemon, Lime and Bitters drinks that it didn’t immediately click that I had had no drinks to count. Went out for some Thai and had an apple juice. My danger zone is definitely more at home than when I’m out. I am usually a ‘home alone’ drinker. [...]