a night at miss chu’s
30/08/11 • 2 Comments

one of the reasons i decided to have a break from alcohol was to stop me from saying cringe-worthy things. however, this morning i woke with that familiar morning-after feeling despite the fact i hadn\’t been drinking … when i reflected on last night\’s dinner with the family, i remember that i was dominating conversation, verbalising things that would be better to remain as thoughts and generally being a bit obnoxious. while perhaps this side of me is more apparent after i have been drinking, i now see that it is still there even when i am stone cold sober. studies have shown that if you give people enough of a substance that they believe is alcohol, they will behave in a way that mimics drunkenness. in our society we use alcohol to become less inhibited. but how we behave is still inherently \’us\’. my parents had an alcohol free [...]

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Day Two …
24/08/11 • 2 Comments

Walking to the local shop after work to pick up some bits and pieces for dinner with the new boy, I think .. I would really like a drink tonight. For social lubrication- perhaps I would even have one before he arrived & open the door glass in hand. Or for relaxation- another glass while we chat about our respective days. But I’m not allowed. I think this is where some of the power of HSM comes from. It is predetermined. I have already committed. I will not have a drink for the next 92 days. And as such, there’s no way of weasling out, not ‘just this once’ or ‘I’ll just have a sip of yours’. Because, if nothing else, I am stubborn. The certainty around my sobriety causes me to ponder my current situation more . How will this or that social situation play out? Will I go [...]

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