Baby I’m getting better
03/09/11 • 1 Comment

Hi all, It has been a heavy week, with two exams, work and Palmerston Festival last night (for work) but I have to say…I am loving life. To anyone that says they want the ‘old’ us back, this is a big F U because I just feel so much better this way. This week hasn’t been a challenge because I have had too many other things to think about and actually got back to the gym for some harder sessions which has been amaaazing! Today is not very exciting, but it is to me. I am spring cleaning my room ready for a new (and hopefully my last) uni study period. I am going to have some me time and by myself a bike so that I can go riding with my boyfriend and sort of…try something new. We have volleyball grand finals tonight, so I am looking forward to [...]

Lauren and HSM Round Two…DING DING DING!
30/08/11 • 6 Comments

My first three month HSM started in April this year. It was hard. It made me re-evaluate a helluva lot of things. It made me handle my anxiety and stress better and completely changed my perspective.  Since I have been “allowed” to drink again (July) I have found myself sometimes easing back into old comforts (although definitely not any where near the same extent) and quite frankly, I know that it is not what I want.  So with three  months left of uni provided I don’t fail anything, a wonderful job that allows me to learn more about this kind of thing, two reports to present to government that I hope will make a difference to young people in my area and a million things I would like to give my all to, I am taking the plunge again. I have had the pleasure of speaking to Chris a couple [...]

Outside HSM….
20/07/11 • 2 Comments

I was really happy today to receive an email from HSM about being HSM alumni – and saying I could still blog about the journey!   The last week has been quite difficult for me in terms of my return to grog. Sunday was a friend’s birthday and I drank. I had about eight drinks over the course of about eight hours in fact, and then I upset myself, because at the end of the night I realised that half of it wasn’t because I wanted it at all. It was being back in the moment, back with my friends, some of whom expressed happiness at me drinking rum again. It was incredibly fun until the realisation hit me later. I have spent three months being perfectly content with not touching alcohol! I got three hours of sleep that night as I actually felt a level of guilt and disappointment [...]

No more HSM
12/07/11 • 3 Comments

I am up to day three OFF HSM.   Have I had a drink? I sure have. There are VAST differences that I have noticed. A drink lasts me a looooong time and aside from really enjoying the taste, I am seeing effects immediately; the alcohol goes straight to my head and legs and there is a subtle underlying sick feeling (literal). Dehydration was almost immediate, probably related to my replacement of alcohol with sparkling water! It’s kind of interesting. I just wonder if my awareness of effects has increased because I haven’t had it for so long.   Very unlike me, yesterday I accepted a second small glass of wine, caving in to pressure and after one sip, my boyfriend ended up drinking it any way. There are birthdays coming up on the weekend I am already contemplating spending it alcohol free or close to.   It’s kind of [...]

The last night
10/07/11 • 1 Comment

my last night of my three month hsm. Feeling like I am about to graduate!