The music made me lose control
20/12/11 • 0 Comments

Omigod. On Friday night – at the tender age of 30-something (don’t be nosey) – I realised that the exhiliration I’d had on many dance floors in my teens, twenties and earlier thirties was in fact the rush of the music. We went to see The Yoots perform live. If you are in or from New Zealand you must see them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mx8xx4onYQ It was a packed out sing-along and dance-along gig to ska versions of traditional waiata. Madness. And about half way into the gig, I experienced the full-on feeling I’ve had so many times dancing badly to fantastic music. It was the sounds, and the feeling of moving to them. That’s not to say alcohol and other substances don’t enhance the rush – though at time I suspect they are a complete buzz-killer. But whatever. The point is I got there without any help. I’m on my final few days now. [...]

Help! I’m shrinking.
07/12/11 • 3 Comments

I’m shrinking. I now have to wear clothes from the back of my wardrobe – that I have been out of action for a year or more. But there are other symptoms. My relationship with my partner is easier.. I’m – ugh – getting on a bicycle occassionally. My skin seems to have lost its blemishes. And I’m getting out more. Can you help me?

Awake
16/11/11 • 3 Comments

It has been two months already. And my life is transformed. I decided when I began to truly embrace this HSM as an opportunity to review the way I was living my life, and to get rid of the substances/methods I use to mask the way I feel. I have done just that. And two months on my life at a superficial level is the same. But in truth I\’ve really addressed some things I had been ignoring for a long time. It has been really tough. Really tough. But now it feels like I\’m on the down-hill part of of the course. And I\’ve been tracking along all of my goals -  no problem!

Change is in the air
29/09/11 • 3 Comments

Its been 18 degrees in Wellington this week, and change is in the air. People are baring their skin, exercising and seizing the sunshine. And this morning I went for my first run in a long time – since before our baby was born. His illness means he doesn’t sleep much, and nor do we. Every moment of his 13 month life seems to have been full with hard work, blood sweat and tears. So today I claimed a little time back for me. And a little self-nurturing. 15 minutes beating the pavement. It was a struggle, but I feel so good now. That is part of the joy of HSM. Whole health change. Because when we improve one thing – the other stuff follows. We start caring for ourselves. Spring.      

Mama’s Little Helper
26/09/11 • 5 Comments

  It is my day three, and not being a heavy drinker, I am not really feeling any different. But I am curious about the role alcohol – and other legal substances (e.g. coffee and cake) – are playing in my life as a working parent. Suppressants, painkilling, a happy buzz, and a trip out when I can’t easily go out for real. I’m hoping that by eradicating alcohol for a while I can observe some more about when I use alcohol and why. And instead of turning to external substances, look inwardly at what is going on an how I handle life. And to just support the amazing programme that HSM. An amazing instrument of culture change.