Hi — I have been here before Day 2 AGAIN
05/09/11 • 6 Comments

This is not so easy.   But I am here again and this time 3 months is my goal.   I dont really think I meant to do three months sobriety last time I was here.  I think I was just testing myself.   To see if I really did have a problem.  Well  I do.  Cos here I am typing away wanting to change for good this time.  I reckon I now understand rock bottom.  Just went to the dr to get antibiotics for sinus and said I am here because I need help.   I cant seem to shake this heavy burden and the alcohol doesnt stop the pain it just makes it physical as well. She was impressed at my honesty lol. Its been nearly a year since mum died and every night I dream of her and wake thinking she is still just around the corner.  She was a cool [...]

Yesterday I struggled. ..
08/08/11 • 5 Comments

Day 8 today, yesterday was hard!!!  I tried to stay focused on the positives yet that voice in my head kept popping up saying you only made it to 8 days last time have a drink.  Its ok.  I could even honestly see myself sitting down and having a Coruba and coke.  So for once I told my parttner I was really finding it hard.   I told him lots of things like how I used to race home sometimes just to have a quick swig in case I bumped into someone at netball.   Like how one glass of wine or rum was so nice if only I could stop at one.  How some of my friends drink every night and they say its fine.   I finally verbalised I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM!  Its hard to admit cos that was NEVER going to be me.  UMMMMM a bottle of wine nearly every night and then [...]

Its Day 4…
04/08/11 • 6 Comments

lots of thoughts,some confusing, some sad, some happy but lots more energy.  Wake up feeling so much better than I used to.  I feel like I have got my hands back on the steering wheel of my life.  Each day thus far I think to myself awesome I have gone another day without alcohol.  I cant believe how much during the day I still think about it though. I wonder if its because I know I wont be having that wine tonight, this Friday or Sat. It was never just a wine anyway it was a bottle plus.   I dont think I used to think about drinking this much, but  maybe its cos I knew it was there my safety net.   I dont want to rely on drink to help me through the hard times, the good times, the sad times anymore!!!    Roll on day 5

Day 2…
02/08/11 • 1 Comment

OMG I feel ok, yes I do!  Woke up this morning without the heavy feeling alcohol brought and no need for panadol or truck loads of liquid to rehydrate.  Have to admit to feeling a bit on edge, like im ripping myself of something that others can just do without the guilt and worry. But its me with the problem.  So I am still here and excited about finding out who I am.  I dont know anymore.  Just decided to turn to a book for some inspiration and this is what it said -   What would bring you Hope this day?   Perhaps something as simple as caring words from a loving friend, or taking a first step, or another day of sobriety. Whatever form of inspiration will nourish the spirit, hold it with care in loving hands.   We have all known periods of hopelessness and despair.  It is only when [...]

Day One, August 1st
31/07/11 • 12 Comments

Wow My partner handed me the newspaper on Sat and it was an article all about HSM.  I read it and was instantly inspired.  I need to stop the daily drinks.  When I go out I dont just have one drink I like to drink so my mind is comfortably numb.   I gave up smoking 3 months ago so why do I need to drink???  I was never going to drink on my own and now I find myself reaching for the bottle every night!  If I open a wine I usually end up finishing the bottle.  CRAZY! My mother died 9 months ago, cancer, related to smoking and stress.  My son is in remission from cancer and is 13.  I need to be healthy.  I jumped on the scales today too just so I had a number to start this journey.  72 kgs!!  There it is in black and [...]